Today, I finally got to see my favorite aunt after months of her living far away with her new boyfriend. She now believes the Earth is flat, gravity is fake, the government is run by reptiles, and that vaccines are the devil themselves. She won't stop trying to convince me of her conspiracies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML
Today, I still don’t know how to act in front of my mother in law. She thinks that the Earth is flat and told her kids that all sunscreens cause cancer. She also has other theories that make me feel weird. FML
Today, I found out via Facebook that my once-favourite aunt has fully bought into the QAnon bullshit about the "stolen" US election, bible quotes and all. We live in the UK. FML
Today, I realised that 3/4 of my family are prone to believe conspiracies and are anti-vax Covid freaks. I want to keep our relationships, but every discussion ends in an argument about some conspiracy they believe. FML
Today, and in the past few weeks, my new girlfriend revealed she doesn’t think COVID is real, the vaccine is a government tracking chip, thinks Scientology makes sense, global warming is a ruse, poor people are poor because they’re lazy… Oh and she always votes Conservative. Boy, can I pick em. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, my girlfriend was excited because her uncle was coming for a visit. She started telling me stories about him, and the more she talked, the worse it got. I’m fairly certain uncle is a cult leader, and that my girlfriend was born into and brainwashed by a cult that got shut down by the police. FML
Today, I listened to my niece explain to me, in great detail, that the Titanic never sank, and that the year it supposedly did was a prediction of 9/11. She learned all of this from some whackjob conspiracy theory videos, and acts like she's an expert now as a result. FML
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
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Top comments
Nhayaa 21
And I think you should try to convince her to find a new boyfriend...
inappropes 31
That's why I always come back with even more absurd conspiracies. "Psshhhh, you believe in the flat earth? Open your eyes lemming, it's a hexagon."
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Comments (23)
inappropes 31
That's why I always come back with even more absurd conspiracies. "Psshhhh, you believe in the flat earth? Open your eyes lemming, it's a hexagon."
Jesse Wartnick 15
At least she isn’t a Mormon...
stormy0307 16
Having lived in Utah most of my life as a non Mormon. I can tell you that the majority of them are not weird. Sure the more devout ones won’t drink caffeine or do anything outside of church on sundays, but they are pretty harmless and usually genuinely nice people.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Is your aunt dating David Icke?
Nhayaa 21
And I think you should try to convince her to find a new boyfriend...
RichardPencil 32
She ought to get a rigorous science lesson from a reputable source. Like a Trump rally, maybe?
protoskore 27
tell her it's the chem-trails that are making her believe all that crazy stuff
wmayrhofer 18
Listen up though - one of those theories might be true. Like the reptiles for instance.
tounces7 28
I mean other than the government being run by reptiles(metaphorically), she sounds like an idiot.
ThrottleJockey 36
She's not totally wrong, the government IS full of snakes.
Jonkbaby 23
perhaps she doesn't realize the gravity of the situation..