Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML
Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML
Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
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Top comments
snakeonthesun 0
that's why she said she was horny! To get you in the mood. was that not enough?
goonie85 0
"Um, you need to get me in the mood." Isn't that something a woman says? Pull out your tampon and **** that woman stupid.
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Comments (116)
tb15 0
she called his bluff
brmcconnaughey 0
Today, my husband asked me to stick my big toe up his ass, then lick it myself while saying, "That's the stuff, Hostess!" I sighed, then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
MJ_Alexander 0
she's a bitch. She must not love you. FYL
mkd0713 0
I'm sure you were hinting at a *******...why don't you think about her needs? selfish ass! your wife was trying to give you some, get yourself in the mood or just admit to your homosexuality.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
wait.. HE is selfish just because SHE wanted sex and was not ready to do anything for it? HE is slefish because SHE wanted him to comply like a slave? What the ******* **** is wrong with you?
Chii_fml 0
I think you deserve it, if I was horny and my guy told me to help him, I would first be offended that I wasn't enough and second turned off. my boyfriend is turned on by me alone so I'm kinda picky. but FYL anyways.
grayh123 0
Double standards are bad What (almost) every comment says is basically that "the man requires to be horny when the woman is" Really? Had the roles been reversed would the comments be the same? "the woman requires to be horny when the man is" I agree that hearing your husband say that might be demoralizing and a turnoff, surely it can be taken as a form of saying "the prospect of having sex with you isn't a turn on" HOWEVER On the other side of the same damn coin it can be taken as "I'm not really in the mood now, maybe if you did more than just say "yo baby lets have sex" I'd be more inclined to satisfy you" The latter option being more likely Why does the guy HAVE to be horny 24/7, its much like the stereotype of the woman being in the kitchen makin' sammiches. Maybe he just...wasn't ******* horny in the same moment you were " *GASP* OMG! This is DEFINITELY a diss towards the wife!" No, get over yourselves, everyone. I bet you 10 - 1 if the OP was a woman saying "Today, my husband told me he was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told him to do something for me to get me in the mood. He sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML" All the female posters would be like "WOW WHAT A DICK HE DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO GET YOU IN THE MOOD! WHAT A CHAUVINISTIC PIG!"
Cinn_fml 23
Personally I think it was the way that he said it that makes me more inclined to be sympathetic to the wife. Also, whichever way it was, it would end up on FML - which implies that they really wanted it, which means that in one way, they were in the mood. Maybe they'd still need a bit of, er, encouragement, but most people would know to say it in a way that wouldn't turn-off the other person.
grayh123 0
You raise a good point Cinn, it does depend on how one says it to make them both enjoy it! But that being said the man would have to be...at the very least, mildly in 'the mood' to talk seductively. If one makes up percentages, it looks a little like this Lets say 0% is not in the mood and 100% is fully in the mood, and 50% is compliant, but not too eager. The wife is 100%, we know this to be true. The man is either 0% or 50%, this leaves us with two options; 1) If the man is 0% he would have easily said a polite "not now baby" (or something to that effect) and have easily avoided (most) of her frustration 2) If the man is 50% he is willing, but not fully wanting, he needs a little push to get him to..lets say 51%, where he would be compliant to making a move, hence why he openly said he wanted her to do something to get him to that stage. Aka being better for the both of them, had she taken a little initiative and started the ball rolling, so to speak. In my personal opinion, the wife was at fault because she communicated her desire, and just EXPECTED her husband to respond accordingly to her every demand. All the man did was communicate his feelings based on what he felt in that present moment. One cannot expect ANYONE (men and women) to comply to the others sexual desires and needs whenever. There has to be a foreground, that's what love making is all about.
Cinn_fml 23
I did say that some encouragement would be required, and I agree with most of your point. My main point was showing that not everyone would've reacted differently on here had it been the other way around. (Though on the basis that she was going to get ready for work, I think a quicky was all the wife had in mind.)
RufusCade 7
That's the way we men have it 24-7, so why bitch about it. For all you men out there that's been in that situation - FYL
MrIrish20 1
YDI jackass. I hope she divorces your stupid ass. "Do something to get me in the mood" Hah...
MrIrish20 1
YDI jackass. I hope she divorces your stupid ass. "Do something to get me in the mood" Hah...
amazemyself2 0
YDI. do something to get you in the mood? i think that her saying "I'M HORNY" should've been that "something." if i talk dirty, my husband is All over it... me: i need you inside me him: *silence* *removes clothing in a frantic manner"