Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went grocery shopping but once at the store I realized that I'd forgotten my shopping list at home. I ended up buying a bunch of random items using basic guesswork and forgetting what I had originally gone to the store for. I now have two avocados, even though I hate avocados. FML
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy just one item - a single, ripe avocado. After spending way too long choosing the perfect one, I got to the checkout counter. I'd left my wallet at home. I had to abandon my poor avocado. FML
Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML
Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML
Today, I realized I’d been walking around a small grocery store for 10 minutes holding an avocado I grabbed but didn’t need. Too embarrassed to put it back, I guess I’m buying an avocado. FML
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Top comments
dontfmlplzzz 6
Common sense isn't so common nowadays
loller27 6
dude what did you think it meant
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Comments (194)
Saraahx97 0
Mmm napkin sandwich... O.o
ttttttyyy 0
It's a BAN bacon avacado napkin mmm!
jerseyboy732 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm assuming you have a smart phone? why didn't you just google it?
iwadasn 33
Not everyone has a smartphone, you know.
berichsoon 11
If someone who is not smart enough to know what BLT is, I don't think he can be that smart to look it up on a smartphone
hellbilly205 17
Im assuming #15 is one of those people who is a dumb person with a smart phone
Krirn 21
Who Googles anything on their smartphones anymore? They just update their Facebook status to ask their friends, "Like" the comment that tells them what "L" and "T" stands for, takes an Instagram of their shopping cart and tags who ever is going to eat with them, in this case OP's wife.
docscientist 10
54- what the hell does intelligence have to do with knowing what a BLT is? Granted, one could make a damn good guess, but I think you have knowledge and intelligence a little mixed up there.
faireanjell 5
At least you could've tried for something starting with those letters, maybe lard and Tuna perhaps... Lol
eddeeezzyy 19
I gotta say though, I found this fml to be very amusing along with all the others that have an embarrassing low amount of common sense and YDIs
DREWBERTMAN 2
I like the ones that involve a couple having sex in a cabana at a kids water park... Sooooo funny and idiotic...
eddeeezzyy 19
Groddie! Lmao don't remind me because the next you thing you know, there's cumshots shooting everywhere along with it going into the water, down the slides, and eventually sticking to random people.
Epikouros 32
... and that's the fifth YDI in a row. It's like Jesus is dead or something.
redbluegreen 41
If that's the case, hopefully they'll arise tomorrow morning.
hahasooo 2
what does blt stand for?
DuffleBagHero 4
BLT- Better luck today
eddeeezzyy 19
Google it....but I'll just tell you anyway because I have a good heart (no sarcasm there), but it's means Bacon Lettuce Tomato consisted into a sandwich.
crazyblackchick 0
Boys Like ******* Babies Love Turtles
Meowingtons500 18
And that's why women make the sammiches.
Meowingtons500 18
Whoops I've been moderated. Sorry, maybe my comment was too sexist. I thought it was funny. :/
MDTeddy 13
bearclaws, turkeypastery and lemons.
DuffleBagHero 4
That sounds disgusting !
illmatic2 16
Bears Lactating Tacos
HolyPotato 9
It stands for bad little taters. Everyone knows that.
Pshhyah 7
Yum, I love BAT's.