Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my mother, where the waiter complimented my "wife". I'm not 18, and she's over 40. FML
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
Today, I told my husband that as I wasn't hungry, he had to cook for himself. He rang my Spanish stepmother as a joke to complain that I’m not wifey material. She showed up, whacked me with her Chancla, and browbeat me into cooking. He feels hella guilty, but he’s still a dead man once she leaves. FML
Today, I was having lunch with my fiancé's family. After he excused himself to use the bathroom, his grandmother glared at me, sneered, "I never liked you" and kept eating while the others smirked. When my fiancé returned, everyone pretended nothing had happened. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
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Top comments
x_the_lancer_x 13
Do the same but make a show of scratching your balls next time.
Bloink 25
Oh mother in laws...
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Comments (53)
KillSwitch96 18
I think he should be more worried about E. coli bacteria more than worms. Even though worms ARE disgusting and OP would definitely not like to ever have them, E. coli infections come from someone else's feces coming into your food which then allows it I get into your body. If it gets into your body at that point, your levels of E. coli will become too high which is very bad for you and can, in the long run, essentially kill you. I'm not sure if worms can kill you or not but I still think I would be more worried about the E. coli!
Inked0803 12
Wow she's a mature person. **** it push the plate away and say you're not hungry then Taco Bell that shit on the way home. Problem solved
rememberkids 14
A soup and bagel combo with a large double double from Tim Horton's sounds waaaaaaay better than Taco Bell. Just saying.
Inked0803 12
Idk what that place is
truepanda 2
well thats very mature of her... what the hell did u do to make her hate u?
StarrliteFire 7
how childish. she's too old for that shit
Obey_StudBoii 23
True definition of Monster in-law.
sunnyzhang 2
there r also a few words i dont understand. i think the expression is weird.
pandahugsxo 6
I would say at least yours speaks to you but no, nevermind :/ that's horrible
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
*vomits*
gAt_d 26
Wow op, why does she hate you so much? To **** with someone's food is lowdown!
squarecircles 13
Looks like your mother in law"s one classy lady