Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Today, after agreeing to hang out with my husband and his alcoholic mother after his father’s suicide, my mother-in-law found out that my sister-in-law and I playfully insult each other. She lost her mind and practically bit my head off, relapsed, and blamed my “disrespecting her daughter” on said relapse. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I spent all day preparing an amazing meal for my extended family, and then 3 hours before dinner his crazy mother forced him home because she felt "excluded". He's spent the past 3 days with her. There's no way for me to keep him and get rid of her. FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, my mom tried to worm her way back into my life by manipulating my brother into doing the dirty work for her. I pretended to swallow the bullshit and invited her over, just so I could slam the door in her face. My brother says I went too far, like he somehow forgot what a shit mom she was. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, I got married and my mom refused to be there because my dad, whose guts she hates, was there even though I promised repeatedly that I would keep them apart. I couldn't do the mother-son dance. She keeps insisting that it was a "lapse in judgment." Yeah, like we're really going to be able to have a do-over. FML
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Top comments
sweetxxsongbird 11
What an absolute cow.
ICastillo 25
Dang your mother is an ass. That's disgusting as hell. Or maybe it's a family recipe and she has been doing it for years you just didn't know....
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Comments (125)
sweetxxsongbird 11
What an absolute cow.
AustinMahone_fml 3
"Happy Thanksgiving kids!"
HappyPanda2016 14
Agreed. It makes me wonder why she hates her husband so much.
alpaquette91 9
Cows don't spit, but she was pretty rude.
Brooks2011 5
Yuck (2chainz voice)
BusinessTurtle 8
A camel would be a more apt description. Calling her a llama would work too
zango1 15
Its certainly not a good way to try to end a rift and it's definitely a lose-lose situation for OP. In a sick kind of way the animosity may have started out of concern for her daughter. Spitting in the food may be more to do with being ignored for 4 years than the husband. Avoid her for a while but don't leave it too late.
sar4hboo 16
"I would compare your mother to a cow but cows are sacred in my country." Ahahaha
ThatsMyPie 20
52 - I don't fully understand why you were down voted, your logic makes sense to me, so have an up vote. It's probably both reasons.
IsAbElLiCiA20 6
39- or Alpacas. They spit.
highfly3003 5
I don't think I've ever heard 2chainz say yuck
israelnotjacob 20
Clearly your mom is just a really immature person. You should tell her that when she's ready to actually be civil you're just a phone call away, but until then you won't be visiting again. Put the ball in her court, and if she never grows up enough to stop acting this way you've done nothing wrong.
Aeroxx1337 17
Well obviously your response is to spit in hers. Or put hot sauce in it, that works too.
hunterluv1 20
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. What is spitting in her food going to accomplish? If she finds out, it'll only make her more mad.
onlychildFTW 34
I would leave. I would tell her I saw what you did and then just leave. That's incredibly disrespectful and she doesn't deserve OPs or her husbands company.
the_enigma1019 1
I know a bit about "an eye for an eye". Don't take an eye... Make her feel like an ass for doing what she did by exposing her... Then politely decline the food and leave She didn't get a reaction, and you were the bigger person.
ShannyAK 16
Ops better than that and its her mother
ClassyCommando 13
An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind if the last two people have an eye each and they gouge each other's eyes out simultaneously. Barring that, there'll be one badass left with a good eye and 7 billion blind people to exploit. Strive to be that badass.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Actually to clarify if everyone did an eye for an eye one person would be left with an eye so it kind of works out :P
BountyBass 13
In a world of the blind the one eyed man is king
lil_ham1644 29
How will they know that he's the one with one eye? He could be lying to become king
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
That will make a nice salty treat. But seriously ur mom sounds like a bitch you're better off just leaving
onlychildFTW 34
OPs mum doesn't sound like a bitch. She IS a Bitch. With a capitol B!
malikadreams 4
*capital
UnidentifiedFun 37
You should 'discover' the spit later and tell her off for it
sjdbeinska 4
OR she could just confront her on the spot?
Stardew 19
4, that's ******* disgusting. Why would you willingly eat something you knew had a loogie in it?
UnidentifiedFun 37
Sorry, I meant like to tell him, then before eating it pretend to find it. I could have worded that better.
Harpy20 24
She sounds pleasant.
quontag 15
Nice use of sarcasm. Using sarcasm about sarcasm.
sens3sfailing 25
What of you use use sarcasm about using sarcasm about using sarcasm? Do you get sarcasemption? Naaaah, you get a terrible comment.
CatHater678 4
Uhmm Family comes before relationships if your husband wanted you to ignore your mom you should have dumped his sorry ass
speckledots 29
Don't be the type to hold grudges. Its unhealthy. Just move on and let go of things in your life that cause more trouble and problems than they're worth. No matter how hard it is.
connerwonner 7
I feel that if you keep giving someone chnace and they keep messing up the chances, you have the right to hold a grudge.
kittenvks 11
I feel that hocking a loogie in someone's food is unhealthy.
ThatsMyPie 20
6 - I agree completely. You aren't saying to keep giving her chances. The thing is that OP needs to get past her mother. Just don't talk to her.
citymayer 7
Sometimes it's not a grudge that keeps you away from someone; it's the fact that they don't deserve to be in your life. My dad, for example, kicked me out of his house because his wife doesn't like me. I don't hold a grudge against him for that. I already decided I didn't want to live with a jealous and scornful woman. I just refuse to speak to him or see him because that and many other things that he and his wife (and the rest of his family) have done to me.
doodlecloud 27
6 - Is that sarcasm? It's so dumb it just might be...I mean, did you not read the fml? They DID let it all go and give her another chance. It didn't work out.
speckledots 29
No where in my statement did I say to give her more chances. I believe I said don't waste your time holding grudges and just move on. let it go and don't bother with it anymore. As in move on. no where did I mention to keep giving her chances. Maybe you should read things more carefully.
heygirlie777 21
How nice of her.
rattusrattus 19
She sounds like someone you should avoid. If you (for some reason) wish to have a relationship with her, go without your husband. Personally I would avoid her. She invites you over so she can spit in the food she's serving you, that does not sound like a good person to have in your life.
traveler_ghost 12
exactly, she is her mother and she's acting like a twisted child. no respect
ositoakaluis 16
you should of just gotten your husband and left but keep texting her saying your on your way but stuck in traffic
MrSassypants 34
Leave and tell her you're on your way? I think something is wrong here.
DontThumbMeDown 8
Should have*
StarWolf111 21
Not all moms text their kids so maybe OP couldn't have done that.
Rawr6591 21
what direction were you trying to go with this
ICastillo 25
Dang your mother is an ass. That's disgusting as hell. Or maybe it's a family recipe and she has been doing it for years you just didn't know....
xxBitchxPleaSe 6
Kinda makes you wonder what's in the turkey now, doesn't it? O.o
ICastillo 25
Yeah, what's the secret ingredient in the stuffing... Never mind I'd rather not know.
soja_fml 18
Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli!!