Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML
Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML
Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, I was told I should try treating my wife the way she treats me when I seek out her affection, so she can see how bad it hurts. Not only could I never do that to her, but that would require her attempting to show me even the simplest form of affection. FML
Today, I felt so rejected by my wife that I can't help myself but feel like shit. She has bipolar, is on medication, yet she makes me feel so little that emotionally and physically that I've started to feel like a failure. No intimacy, shitty behaviour, complaining all the time. Man, I wish I could end it all. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my wife about our lack of sex lately. Apparently, her therapist told her that her high libido and eagerness to experiment came from her early childhood issues, so now she's working through her trauma and will never want sex again. FML
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
That's make you a libido and her a libidont.
alitairi 18
or it'll piss her off and make her reduce her sexual output to once every 3 years
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Comments (118)
RainCl0ud 22
Right now you have 666 YDI's. I'm pretty sure that's a sign!
Muttley9 13
You are understandably upset. But an interesting human failing is the belief that other people think or feel just as you do. So some folks get married to people with widely differing drives. Age, personal issues, infirmity or medication can affect your sex drive. Your body chemistry can play jokes on you as well. Take all these things into account and try to find out what the root cause of your significant others lack of interest is really about. Good luck and best wishes OP.
Lalala579121 28
I would hope your entire marriage isn't based however much sex you had before you were married. So you can either A) take the medication and enjoy your time with her, or B) have a talk with her and either make some compromise or go your separate ways and try to find people more compatible with yourselves.
MandySkittles 18
Sex is a fundamental part of a relationship. Of course the amount of intimacy after getting married should be an issue - if someone would rather a person needlessly take medication to stifle a sex drive than be intimate with their partner there are more issues at play than just sex. The medication should not even be an option, especially when the amount of sex is so low in the first place! More realistically their choices should be, a)do counseling/therapy to get to the root issue(s) or b)go their separate ways and find someone sexually compatible.
Flyndaran 10
It may be a necessary part of YOUR relationships. But not everyone's is so physically based. Do you think everyone falls out of love when paralyzed, elderly, or sick?
Lalala579121 28
Not everyone views sex as a necessary part of a relationship, 80. There doesn't have to be any root issues for people to not want to have sex, some people are just made that way. And therapy is by no means a cure-all for things like that. If anything it would probably do more harm than good in this situation.
Lalala579121 28
As for the medication not being necessary, I think it's pretty safe to assume that OP bugs his wife about sex at least on a semi-regular basis. So he either needs to take the medication or find some other way to channel his sex drive.
SSJ4Asterisk 5
"channel his sex drive"? It they're only having sex once a year then that channel is having technical difficulties.
graphicstyle7 17
Ok, there's a sex advice column called "Savage Love" that deals with this problem ALL the time. I VERY strongly suggest you read what he has to say about mis-matched sex drives. You need to hear it.
imbedderdenu 23
well....it all depends if it's a life/death thing. but if THATS her reasoning as opposed to your health? I would look at moving on. I was in a situation where I had VERY low SD, but it ended up being the person I was with not me. so yeah....just a thought. good luck OP
sousaphonist 14
Is the medication otherwise medically necessary?
vikky538 29
Once a year? I bet that day will be your Christmas
bretzeller 13
Sex is a marital duty. If she refuses, he has the moral right to find someone else.
Abadmonster 16
I am so sorry OP
ChadHelton 8
Let me guess, she wants you on your anti depressants, anxiety, or most likely, paranoia pills? they don't make pills that JUST kill your sex drive. sounds like you need to be on them. then you might be stable enough to want to have sex with