Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Freaky
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
TMI, DUDE!
Today, it might be the day I ask my wife to peg me. Hope it goes well. FML
Bigger than...
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
No kinkshaming, but come on…
Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML
Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML
Karma police
Today, six months after my wife convinced me to open our relationship, I finally scored with a lovely lady. My wife threw the biggest fit in history. Apparently, she just wanted to fuck other men and didn't think anyone would be interested in me, and now she feels inadequate and threatened. FML
Was it worth it?
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
No kink-shaming on FML
Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML
Top comments
A1BROS 4
Sounds like a real pain in the ass.
itwasthedognotme 14
Time to strap-on your seatbelt and drive far, far away..
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Comments (276)
imnotme333 7
You're either about to love sex a lot more OR find out why you shouldn't go too deep on her.
militarybrat 21
Hey my husband enjoys it.
decado 6
This needs a follow-up post from the OP.
ItsThisGirl 17
Buckle up buttercup!
ibanghellokitty 8
Well, I'm done reading fml for today.
and_hufflepuff 5
idek wjat a strap on is so idk What to say
kha_428 6
Just talk to her about it. We just bought one, at his request. I'm willing to try it for him because I love him. Anal feels greats to me, and I've heard it feels better for men, so why not.
Merylwen 24
If he doesn't want to do it there nothing wrong with that. His body, his choice. No need to be so judgemental by saying that he either has to accept anything or it means he is "ashamed" or "not confident in his masculinity".
Thunderstruck14 30
The only reason this should be an FML is if the OP has no say in what happens in the bedroom. If that's not the issue, then he should just talk to his wife and she should understand he's not into that. Some people like it and some people don't. Its not really a big deal, that's why you're supposed to TALK to your partner.
wishgirl43 9
Hey maybe she's planning on inviting a female friend over..and getting real freaky