Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife is pissed I bought a $600 drill set on sale for only $200, because the one I had wasn't strong enough for the job i just started at. Yet the $300 I just spent for her to go to a concert isn't even in a the equation. FML
Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML
Today, my wife always wants to spend on big items, like a new pool or home renovations; I want to save for our future. At 45 years of age, we are in heavy debt and I have no other assets as a backup. I should have stood up to her from the beginning. FML
Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my wife decided to take from our savings and donate £500 to the church “for the starving people.” I wasn’t aware crooked priests were starving but hey ho, now she’s mad at me I cancelled the cheque since I would like to retire before I’m 80. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who collects monthly welfare cheques, demanded that I get a second job so I could buy her more things. FML
Today, my wife spent a ton of money she took from me for a very expensive lingerie because, "it makes her feel more feminine and beautiful." Again. All this stuff just gathers dust in her drawers, and she keeps wearing the same ugly raggedy underwear for 3-4 days in a row, which is actually disgusting. FML
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Top comments
Schizomaniac 24
No funny/clever comment this time. This is just ****** up. Your wife needs help.
Nyx_fml 23
Come on, OP. Let your wife follow her cheesy dreams. There must be lots of cheese lovers who love cheese so much that they would date it and **** it.
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Comments (93)
ThedaRose 15
What the...?
helen_ellexo 22
Hahahha
BradTheBrony 19
You're both stupid.
cosicosei 22
What happened to the "our" part of this decision?
perdix 31
I think you're the crazy one for not recognizing your wife's obvious genius! May you have heady times with your cheesy wealth!
Yellow_Fish79 11
Wtf. Your wife has problems. Lol
BlueRainDude 11
Tell your wife that she's a genius
chuka81 27
She has one of the better mid life crisis
Poetaster 10
Where can I buy one!!!!????
ghil15 8
well gudluck i hope youll get your saving back if not kick her ass!
Xatraris 38
Now there's the answer, domestic violence. Go all Chris Brown on that sandwich makin' specimen! Well, cheese whiz ***** makin' I guess.
worldclassrager 41
Oh good lord...do you eat them afterwords or something... But seriously...it's an idea...and (probably not) it could take off but dreams can become realities...and you never know she can be on to something...
NiteShayd 10
I am also confused. Maybe it'll 'whiz' cheese after you use it?