Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife is pissed I bought a $600 drill set on sale for only $200, because the one I had wasn't strong enough for the job i just started at. Yet the $300 I just spent for her to go to a concert isn't even in a the equation. FML
Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML
Today, my wife always wants to spend on big items, like a new pool or home renovations; I want to save for our future. At 45 years of age, we are in heavy debt and I have no other assets as a backup. I should have stood up to her from the beginning. FML
Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my wife decided to take from our savings and donate £500 to the church “for the starving people.” I wasn’t aware crooked priests were starving but hey ho, now she’s mad at me I cancelled the cheque since I would like to retire before I’m 80. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who collects monthly welfare cheques, demanded that I get a second job so I could buy her more things. FML
Today, my wife spent a ton of money she took from me for a very expensive lingerie because, "it makes her feel more feminine and beautiful." Again. All this stuff just gathers dust in her drawers, and she keeps wearing the same ugly raggedy underwear for 3-4 days in a row, which is actually disgusting. FML
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Top comments
Schizomaniac 24
No funny/clever comment this time. This is just ****** up. Your wife needs help.
Nyx_fml 23
Come on, OP. Let your wife follow her cheesy dreams. There must be lots of cheese lovers who love cheese so much that they would date it and **** it.
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Comments (93)
skatoolaki 24
How would that even work?!
ChildishHumor 4
put cheese on your di&@$ snd tell her to go to town
zsshamalama 11
Tell us more, OP. Where can I buy one?
SteveOMcBeaveO 2
A new twist on the roast beef and cheddar.
demonicdub 2
Tell her solid cheddar would work better.
JoseIsAdork 31
what's next.. a tarter sauce flavored dental dam?
shinikageWolf 15
"So I went to eat my wife out last night....and it tasted like cheese. I think she needs to go to the doctor"
KingRay 3
I guess you can say that She eats dick now w/o it being an insult.
magickiss87 22
wow. that sucks. I'd be kinda pissed off! That's a stupid as fk idea. wonder where the hell she got the idea from to begin with