Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML
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Top comments
gorilladuck 6
why didnt you stop at a gas station, or restaurant?
EpicGuy70 13
She is just expressing her love! *silently gags in the background*
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Comments (83)
bobbabson 8
Sounds like a interesting ride
Sarairwin49 22
That's terrible OP...hope she feels better soon though
notabeachbabe 13
I would recommend taking multiple showers and scrubbing!
BeardedVulture 6
I too have spent a long time smelling of someone else's vomit today
jmfreee 16
FYL then.
BeardedVulture 6
Except I was tied up when it happened v.v
marcranger 29
28, are you a fetish **** star or something?!
kelsorg 21
interesting
asherm 15
Oh gag! Tell me again why my mom wanted me to have kids?
marcranger 29
Because she doesn't have to deal with this...you will! She just gets to give the kids candy and loud toys and hand them back when they get sick or crap themselves!
BoltTheSuperdog 22
I would have started vomiting as soon as I saw/smelled that. You handled it WAY better than I would've, OP!
Lil_Red777 21
So I guess OP shouldn't ever take their daughter anywhere?
Gremlinek 16
So you have a little kid and no baby wipes or water and some paper towels in your car???
cdawg69 10
Kids, the gift that keeps on giving..
SarahJayneLol 4
That stinks