Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when I felt something crack on my head. My 6 year-old son had just smashed an egg into my hair. When I asked why, he said, "Mom does it for TikTok." This is how I found out that my wife has been "pranking" him for likes, and thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
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Top comments
saksxalmo 20
World's youngest troll?
willbur73q 7
I have to say, I do love a good prank. Cruel, yes. Well done, for sure.
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Comments (154)
mmaflake 19
This is funny actually. I think I'd be more bummed about the ketchup mess.
spikekutter 9
your daughter sounds like a little minion..
twiztedone 19
That's funny you have to admit after the initial shock and horror! I don't know how to vote on this one!
poccocurantes 7
You know, the sad thing is you are an adult...you should be able to come up with something much more realistic than ketchup. Just remember; a good biggun will always get the better of a bad littlun.
toblasc0sauce 5
It was the daughter that faked her death. I think its pretty clever for a five year old. Nothing sad about it.
iloveryan052710 8
You can't tell the difference between blood and ketchup?
DanielleinDC 34
Someone should tell her teenage son that if he really wants to be realistic, he should get red food coloring and corn syrup.
RedPillSucks 33
Sounds like "Harold and Maude". Next, your son will teach her to seek out much older men and have sex with them... What? Too much???
Fooey_214 12
lmfao
toblasc0sauce 5
Your daughter has declared war. Brutal pranks from here on out, be prepared!!
athos1237 4
That's awesome! Take a joke mom, relax and breathe deep. Then laugh out loud.