Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, I had to fake fall down the stairs so my mom would stop texting and actually pay attention to what I was saying. FML
Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML
Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML
Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year-old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML
Today, my sister was yet again sprawled out on the kitchen floor. Passed out drunk? Nah, it was a "die-in" as part of her plan to annoy us into becoming insufferable vegans like her. I accidentally stepped on her hand and she screamed, making me jump and splash hot coffee everywhere. FML
Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left, I was carrying her downstairs and tripped. Try calling your parents from the hospital and explaining that their daughter, who can't even crawl yet, has a broken leg. FML
Today, I'm incredibly sick. I can't breathe, can't walk ten steps without falling, and no one believes me. My mom just sat next to me and said, "Honey, isn't this all a bit much? Quit being dramatic, because I can't believe this." When I asked why I would fake this, my sister yelled, "Guess you can't go shopping!" I'd want to. FML
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
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Top comments
Sinshine 28
You mean you're trying to teach her that calling the ambulance isn't actually important because you're just playing anyway. Or trying to waste emergency services time on fake emergencies.
mssileas 25
You know that kids play dead/dying for fun, right? Because they're incapable of understanding the concept of death and its consequences. If you wanna create an emergency, pretend to get hurt. That's alarm. But also, don't do that, because alarm fatigue is a thing and scaring your sister just to test rate her performance is not gonna play out well in the long run.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
She’ll let you die for your soda? Be careful when you eat a Klondike Bar around her — she might kill you for that!
Sinshine 28
You mean you're trying to teach her that calling the ambulance isn't actually important because you're just playing anyway. Or trying to waste emergency services time on fake emergencies.
mssileas 25
You know that kids play dead/dying for fun, right? Because they're incapable of understanding the concept of death and its consequences. If you wanna create an emergency, pretend to get hurt. That's alarm. But also, don't do that, because alarm fatigue is a thing and scaring your sister just to test rate her performance is not gonna play out well in the long run.
alycion 39
If it were real, she would have seen the sweat, the vomiting, and all of the other physical signs instead of it just looking like play. Maybe then she would have at least checked on you. Maybe not. Soda is tasty to a kid. What would you have done had she called 911. They have to send someone out to check anyway. And since you prompted the call with your actions, you would be responsible. In many areas, that’s not just a fine.
bobsanction 18
What did you expect to happen? Babies are idiots.
blahblabbity 19
have you heard of the boy who cried wolf?