Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when I felt something crack on my head. My 6 year-old son had just smashed an egg into my hair. When I asked why, he said, "Mom does it for TikTok." This is how I found out that my wife has been "pranking" him for likes, and thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
saksxalmo 20
World's youngest troll?
willbur73q 7
I have to say, I do love a good prank. Cruel, yes. Well done, for sure.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (154)
Jessj958 19
How funny!! But you have to admit, it's better than them doing the stuff that most kids are doing nowadays.
micah9794 4
Not nice
woolymittens 11
Hahaha your son is awesome
EvilUndead 9
When you see a "corpse", first check the life signs. If it is not "dead", perform first aid and call ambulance. If you you think it is dead, attempt to resuscitate, (if applicable) and call ambulance and/or cops. Once this is done you can scream all you want and let your emotions loose. Screaming takes precious time which can be used to understand the situation and help the "corpse", if necessary.
Eiregal2 10
Have you ever come across a corpse?
dancinwookie 21
Sounds like the next 13 years could be a living hell for you, OP. Good luck.
slapsface 10
Madagascar escape to Africa?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I hope in addition to all these medical suggestions someone is suggesting beating/punishing the shit out of the teenager who taught the five-year-old this very bad habit. Damn kids these days...and parents just let them get away with it. It's sickening...this is why kids grow up and join gangs and commit crimes; their parents didn't teach them right from wrong. I hope OP is an exception.
AngelSpit 18
lol I'd appreciate the prank after I calmed down if my daughter did that
siddin 6
that's not faking a death. you get a car rigged to explode, put a cadaver in it the same size and weight, then watch it go boom before you go off the grid. make sure no DNA is left except some of yours. so, cut yourself and put some of your blood in the car, old shoes, a hairbrush, etc.
EvilUndead 9
114, would you kindly stop giving new ideas to her daughter?
Mizz_Sp0iled 6
Your comment :YES!!! Thumbs up to your son; big brother at his best.