Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my teacher yelled at me for using my phone in class. I apologized out loud, knowing that it would help me get off easier. She was yelling at somebody else. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
Today, I was in a good mood for once, but my professor looked at me and said, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML
Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
0opsie 6
YDI for chewing your gum like a cow. That's really annoying to everyone else who's too polite to say anything.
Mesocoollike 8
It's horrible, but really funny...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (121)
yummycupcakegirl 0
Well shes the cow not you! I bet she's gonna get fired.
foxre28 0
I HATE people who chew like they are choking on gum. Jeez.
cdatribe23 0
well ydi for chewing like a cow haha
suprmidgt 0
you were obviously smacking with tour mouth open weight aside it makes people look and sound like slobs. don't do that it's gross
angelaabb 0
Thats horrible!
didimondonald1 0
u deserve it, maybe go go a gym
romanje 0
you should report that teacher, that was unappropriate. I hope this isn't high school
Judus_beej 0
she was just trying to tell you that you should be chewing cud not gum. it's ok op common mistake.
allmidnighteyes 11
I don't hate you because you're fat... You're fat because I hate you.
Dengon_zombie 0
A5555 lmfao if that happened to me I would be in gym now loosing weight ... U should try some
sordanjymes 6
OH MY GOD! Doesn't anybody know how to spell losing??!?!!!?