Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, while sharing my screen with our tech guy at work, I forgot he was there and opened Facetime to pick a zit on my chin. After going in for the squeeze, I horrifyingly remembered he could see everything and quickly closed it. After a few seconds, he said, "Did you get it?" FML
Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview, then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, only to see that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
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Top comments
poolshark 0
I've had teachers that would have found that hilarious and I've had teachers that would have had you suspended asap... For your sake, I hope this guy had a sense of humor.
wastingtimeonFML 7
The ironic thing is that you're not that slim either, as evident from your picture.
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Comments (206)
Rockey 3
Not an FML if you don't tell us what happened afterward.
countrygal926 0
That sucks, i would get sick being taught by someone who obviously failed at life.
wastingtimeonFML 7
The ironic thing is that you're not that slim either, as evident from your picture.
briannabrocious 2
I have little to no sympathy for the obese.
terribletowel64 8
Yeah look in a mirror before you post that crap. A lot of overweight people get overweight because of depression anxiety or many other problems in their life. Some depressed people eat to console themselves and they're sad because they eat. It's a viscous cycle that can be hard to break
Redneckcrazyyy 6
Alright #204.. Obviously you don't know that people have diseases that make them like that... And by the way, nobody has any sympathy for you either so...
Redneckcrazyyy 6
@2 They didn't fail at life just because they are overweight... It could be a disease too.. And maybe you should consider looking in the mirror before you post things like that..
arich6210 22
Your profile says your 18.. Just wait until your body stops working the way it does now and you will realize that things can get in the way of having a "healthy" body
shiba10 26
I know this post was years ago but just wanna say there's no disease that directly makes you obese. Although there may be some that impact your lifestyle which can tip the odds against you
liinkinparkfan97 34
#204 - And no body has sympathy for stuck up bitches like you either so.
Jaywin 3
Haha nice zinger.
TheBlakester419 0
what did he do to you? suspend you
Stina9162 0
hahahahahha awesome
poolshark 0
I've had teachers that would have found that hilarious and I've had teachers that would have had you suspended asap... For your sake, I hope this guy had a sense of humor.
Yamamayaa 0
Perhaps it's my bitter demeanor, but I would have done the same, but intentionally. I'm sure your classmates got a good laugh at least.
ilovefatcats 12
#6 nobody uses demenor anymore... LOL THAT IS A HILARIOUS FML!!!
tannarox 0
No one? Don't some people have a vocabulary greater than 5 words? Wait, you're right. No one does.
adelaide_evening 0
Haha, I hope that wasn't in front of the entire class. I sense an F in your near future...
SophiaMay 0
unless he sat on you afterwards this isnt a fml
Shesonfire94 2
Iit may not be a fml for the op but it sure would be for the teacher. haha and it is hilarious!
hazz_fml 0
haha my friend did that to one of our old teachers and she got suspended. I hope your teacher has a sense of humour.
MandM44 0
HAHAHAHA!