Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Please, apologize
Today, my teacher yelled at me for using my phone in class. I apologized out loud, knowing that it would help me get off easier. She was yelling at somebody else. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
Today, I was in a good mood for once, but my professor looked at me and said, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
Assumptions
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML
Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Top comments
0opsie 6
YDI for chewing your gum like a cow. That's really annoying to everyone else who's too polite to say anything.
Mesocoollike 8
It's horrible, but really funny...
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Comments (121)
Mesocoollike 8
It's horrible, but really funny...
HollyoaksFan93 9
Ha ha.... No.
Mesocoollike 8
Ha ha.... Yes.
uhazsquiads 0
Ha ha... almost
MissErikaHart 0
ha ha... bless u
hairt 4
haha.... retarded....
marialittlemonst 0
Haha (:
doublebluff 1
..your life is ******, because somebody mentioned a fact about yourself?
franniedottp 8
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. You all just got pwnd. I CAN HAZ MORE "HA's" THEN CHU
jpest17 5
it horrible and funny But YDI!
MonkeyMan03 0
doublebluff you ruined it! :(
FLYiN_CLOUD9 4
haaa!
daminantion 14
awesome pic hehe
pom42pom 12
so true
ArianS2 0
I hare it when overweight people posting how it's a FML. You can change it. But there you are sitting your fat ass down in front of computers and T.V right after school.
godofcyanide 8
I hate it when retards post on FML just to put others down, when they could, you know, just STFU and grow up. And if you're too retarded for that to be clear, Arian, it's about you.
sugarr0babby0 0
2- hate* an* they're* Learn to spell.
TwoInTheBush 0
when was there ever a need to put "an" in his sentence? nice job cupcake :)
nerdwithagun 0
Now would be the time to start planning revenge.....
Norwegian_Wood 4
Okay, my first thought was "OP just needs to sit on her." I am a horrible person... OP, lose some weight if you don't like how you look now.
DmnUall 0
No, now would be the time to plan a diet and exercise program. Not the teachers fault OP is a fat cow
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
This isn't one of those "Oh today I hate 5 tubs of butter then got so tired I couldn't walk to the sofa" FMLs. She isn't complaining that she is fat, she is complaining that she was insulted by her teacher. Just because someone doesn't diet doesn't mean they deserve to get insulted. People say "Oh, it's just a fact" and it is if you are told it by your doctor for example, but otherwise people don't want their flaws bought up. If someone told another person they have a huge nose, wouldn't you think it was insulting, even if it were true?
ilaleahcim 6
People can't help having a huge nose. People can DEFINITELY help being fat.
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
Okay, so someone has a horrible haircut. Is it your place to tell them how awful it is? Since they can help it?
ilaleahcim 6
Perhaps the hairdresser was terrible? All I'm saying is fat people are fat because they choose to be. And that's really all there is to it.
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
People make decisions that lead to them being fat, but it's not as simple as 'Oh, I'd really like to be fat'. Either way that isn't my point. Whether being fat is a choice or not it isn't someone elses place to tell them (unless they are saying it out of concern). Just because someone doesn't have a healthy life style does not give someone else the right to be rude to them. I see a lot of FMLs like "Today, I was so hungry I ate 5 kilos of icecream. FML." or "Today, my mother bought me a gym membership because she is 'worried about my health'. FML." If this was one of those ones I'd be right there with you. This isn't that though. Complaining because you're fat and not doing anything about it is one thing, being offended because someone insults you is another.
babyyappld 7
no everyone chooses to be fat... there are different factors such as your metabolism and your genes. plus there are different diseases that cause obesity. and how do you know op isn't on a diet? diets don't work in a matter of days
smaginn 0
Hm... Was the teacher that mean? I thought it was quite considerate of the teacher to apologise afterwards, and say "You are not a cow." Plus, the teacher wasn't implying OP was fat like a cow, just that OP was chewing like a cow. Which OP deserves, because isn't chewing gum not allowed? Or maybe that was just my school...
iloveeyouuxD 9
98-actually my school allows gum, just depends on the teacher, but luckily everyone of my teachers allow it:) lol
randome101 12
That's not the point, you don't say stuff like that to someone.
Cassandrarox 0
Ouch
jiggyjiggz 0
Mmmmm cud is good.
iDoWhatiWantTo 0
made my day HAHA.
AlexWolfx 0
It's a sign, loose some weight. I had a weight problem a while back and changed it. Put down the burgers and pick up a headband and start walking.
ArianS2 0
lose =/= loose
SmileSweetly 0
Well, that sucks, but maybe you should start trying to loose some weight.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Most of the excess weight I see people carry is pretty loose. It jiggles about when they walk and slides down when they sit. Anytime I see a person with loose weight, I always think they should lose some of it.
MadPercussion 0
Hey #7, your comment doesn't make any sense. I'll let you figure it out for yourself, but I really hate when people misspell this word. It happens way too often.
5t3ff1k4h 47
No, all the words are spelled correctly. The problem lies in the usage of a particular word.
daminantion 14
wow I'm just gonna go ahead and say one word... BLONDES.
catstuff 0
lol! loose some weight >.<
ArianS2 0
lose =/= loose
MadPercussion 0
Your comment makes no sense dumbass. I don't know what it means to "loose" some weight, but maybe they could LOSE some weight.
iEnjoyPepsi 0
just cause they spelled one ******* thing wrong your gonna get on to them? do us all a ******* favor quit trolling
5t3ff1k4h 47
Watch your ******* language. It's not a case that Mad here wants to troll. It's a case of the person he was replying to being too stupid to realize the difference between 'lose' and 'loose'. This is something that was taught way back in grade school, and it's amazing how many people still can't grasp this concept. If Mad (or anyone else for that matter) wants to correct something and make the other look stupid (not that they don't already look stupid), that's their prerogative and you have no say in it. Stop wasting your breath; people aren't going to stop just because you tell them to. Don't like it? Don't read it.
aldog24 0
Steff open your mouth and swallow a spoon full of your own medicine, kthanks
5t3ff1k4h 47
Excuse me, but the first line was sarcastic and further pointed out the error of their ways. It was MEANT to make me look hypocritical in order to show them my point... If you don't understand what I'm talking about, kindly PM me rather than making a rude comment on here. Better yet, wait until some other unfortunate soul comes to ask what I mean and I'll answer them, provided it's not a nasty remark.
alberto10169854 0
Is there really any need to call people dumbass for a simple mistake?
0opsie 6
YDI for chewing your gum like a cow. That's really annoying to everyone else who's too polite to say anything.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Exactly. Gum is meant to be chewed discreetly... if it's disgusting to see balls of meat rolling around in your mouth at dinner time, it's disgusting to see a piece of gum, too. Not to mention the sounds made... *shudder* Pet peeve.
padlockd 9
Agree. YDI for chewing and being heavy.
ICabooseI 0
if you smack like a dog, get treated like a dog.
emanhernandez 22
Bitch
AwesomeTastic4 0
lmao that can still be traumatizing!