Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML
Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
Today, my son watched some ridiculous Japanese cartoon about shokugeki cooking and is convinced he's the greatest cook ever by copying what happens in the show. He set fire to my frying pan, panicked, and dumped it in the ceramic sink, which cracked from the heat and flooded my kitchen. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
br0ccoli 15
Son: "You be grillin my cheese all wrong, yo. Get out my face, bizniych. *cries*. Imma make this shit myself..*phone rings*...Oh hello, mr. Hildebrandt, yes I will be at the office on Tuesday *hangs up*....pshh that boy be tripping...**** we're out of red kooilaid. Oh heyyl noo. No koolaid?!?! *cries*"
ScottieJo 8
lol. I actually have passionate hate for those white boy "gangsta". Or "wiggers" as they sometimes call themselves.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (237)
cman024 4
punch him straight in the dome... that'll teach him a lesson.
Comoke1024 19
Livin' in the suburbs with my lame ass moms Playas be hatin' cause she makes good noms Gonna shove that shit, I just can't wait Lady was trippin when she put it on my plate She all pissed cause I didn't say please But I ain't gonna beg for burnt grilled cheese MY SANDWICH IS BURNT! Peace.
delude 26
"Ganstas" don't necessarily have to be black. But maybe it's time to teach him to make his own sandwiches.
SgtBlacksmith 9
End him.
_Schnitzel_ 4
Sorry to be the first one to tell you but... He may be a loser
fantasyworld 39
Why are you cooking for him?
fantasyworld 39
Why is he still living with you?
Glasstronaut 4
Well, you did burn his grilled cheese
gilbertclarence 9
white chocolate
MrZed_fml 11
Is it too late to abort him?