Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML
Today, my son came running in, saying he had a project due tomorrow. I asked when it was assigned; he said two weeks ago. I refused to help, saying that he failed to act responsibly and had to live with the consequences. Now he's throwing a tantrum and my wife is screaming at me. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, then said, "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but… nevermind", shook his head and walked out. FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
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Top comments
OhDearBetrayal 25
He's a little late for that.
Silly_Lilly6969 23
The poor elderly. After they've lived so long they get harassed by a teenager to do a Harlem shake video.
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Comments (92)
Bicko2004 25
What an idiot!
XOGattinoXX 5
That dance is really dead.. Be thankful your kid didn't make them do gentleman or gangnam style. That would be heart attack or broken bone inducing for sure. Some serious grounding and talking to is need though!
brandonkb93 5
That's funny lol
Ziggy122 15
******* kids these days. All they care about is stupid-ass viral videos.
NoDontKillMe 19
And internet
simoncat 11
Wow. You sure raised a whiny winner there. Time for a LOT of tough love. Something you should have done while the little fink was growing up.
allliseee 8
punish the boy, be a parent.
troadidian 2
Should have taught him better.
thisiscool19 14
late and just plain wrong they are too old to do that kind of stuff
thatoneguythere1 3
poor elderly
cozza96 4
The Harlem shake is old now :/