Today, the only parking spot available at the supermarket had some shopping carts in it, so I got out of my car and moved them. As soon as I finished, a lady stole the spot. When I confronted her, she maced me with pepper spray and walked off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping when I left my cart to grab an item. I returned, and started pushing the cart again. Halfway through the store, a furious lady confronted me, demanding her cart back. I had to walk back in shame to find my own actual cart, which was now nowhere to be found. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML
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Top comments
user53658 15
Wow... I hope you at least deflated her car tires after she went inside and you got your eyesight back.
azouwa 26
Put the carts back.
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Comments (40)
interesting33 37
PEPPEE SPRAY!! That is awful and disgusting. not to mention assault!!
azouwa 26
Put the carts back.
Akitakat 31
Actually, completely circle her whole car in them.
user53658 15
Wow... I hope you at least deflated her car tires after she went inside and you got your eyesight back.
mekiswrite 21
Better yet: slash 3 of them. insurance only covers it if you slash all 4
BasedLink421 2
did the lady's car happen to be a blue mid 2000s ford focus?
Donut_Wizard 23
“Siri, call 911.” “Calling the girl you have been creeping on” “No Siri, stop.” “Turning in speaker phone.”
Ciela 22
break a window and drive off
smaldridge 12
should have parked your car directly in front of the spot; you should go in and complain to the store manager that they need to get their act together with the carts as well.
xXDemonWolfXx 13
I’ve worked in retail and it’s definitely not their fault. Customers are ***** and take carts to the most ridiculous places because they’re lazy
RichardPencil 32
She thought you were a cart jockey and didn’t appreciate your aggressive approach to get a tip.
Spiritbird 17
Stuff a banana in her car's exhaust pipe.
Lisa Burkholder 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hey I know it's really uncomfortable for you but you should tell somebody other than us about it like the guidance counselor at the school or your principal or the third graders teacher... or maybe not the teacher but definitely the guidance counselor or the principal because they are mandated reporters and that's a sign of sexual abuse. They can handle it from there.
pastafanatic 13
FYI a teacher is a mandatory reporter as well...
Akitakat 31
Wrong fml. This is about a car issue. Dunno what went wrong?!