Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
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Top comments
little_aliceee 17
I wonder how painful it will be when he *****....
Fuaaad1994 31
He is going to regret it when he takes a dump
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Comments (97)
Jonesy272 15
Well got to give him points for trying lol
3molliver3 16
He'll be staying home, but it won't be with that
Goblin182 27
I hate to think what that is doing to his stomach lining.
mosquito19 14
tell him that hot sauce coming out will feel exactly like prison if he don't stay in school.
Gabilliam 19
Congratulations on raising a winner!
vikky538 29
an idiot with a hot sauce..
icekitten14 12
*facepalm*
askullnamedbilly 33
To quote Forrest Gump, 'stupid is as stupid does' and yes, OP's son behaved like a ******* moron. You should never shy away from telling your kids when they've done something unbelievably stupid, because if you do, they'll probably keep doing it. Parenting does not mean pretending everything your kids do wrong is just because they're misguided or don't know any better, that just produces entitled assholes.
InkedGamer 9
wait for the firehole lol call the fire dept cuz hes gonna be blowin up some toilets haha
turtles4life 24
It's Memorial Day here in the states so we have no school anyways lol. I guess it's different for other states though.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Ummm...Memorial Day is in the spring. Today is Columbus Day in the United States. The more you know.....
rocker_chick23 27
It is Columbus Day, not Memorial Day which is in spring.
turtles4life 24
How incredibly embarrassing. I have no idea why I thought it was Memorial Day.. My bad
shanannygians07 28
It's indigenous people day now.