Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
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Top comments
little_aliceee 17
I wonder how painful it will be when he *****....
Fuaaad1994 31
He is going to regret it when he takes a dump
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Comments (97)
BadApple88 29
The only thing he's gonna get is a upset stomach and a fire ass. I hope you sent him to school anyway to teach him a lesson
nitrog100 21
At least hot sauce has health benefits. It's basically calorie free, reduces inflammation, increases blood flow, oxidizes adipose tissue, is a good source of vitamins A, E, and K, and may prevent growth of cancerous cells. Your son isn't entirely stupid. Drinking hot sauce would probably cause flushing and sweats, which can definitely make a person appear ill.
devildog562 33
Hot sauce usually is made with a lot of preservatives and salt. While small portions or fresh do have some benefits, I honestly can't see this to be in his or anyone's best interest.
flufee2 27
You said it yourself... Lol idiot.
Rottlife 7
He better not go to school then or he'll be ******** unexpectedly
live2loveurself 11
Haha! Canadians get Monday off cause its Thanksgiving.
PrinPrinLife 16
my brother and sisters drink it just for the heck of it
sierrajo09 24
thats gonna hurt coming out! :/
Ihavegas 22
give him maddog hot sauce or Blairs death
Anthonymm2 20
That's not gunna be fun later
Merridew 8
So will he skip school tomorrow?