Today, I had to sleep at my in-laws' house. My in-laws' bedroom is directly above the one we’re sleeping in. For the last 20 minutes, all I can hear is the bed going, “Thud, thud, thud.” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML
Today, I asked my family not to disturb me while I slept, as I had hit over 72 hours of insomnia. My family must have heard me say, “Come in every 20 minutes and wake me up with whatever banal shit you can think of.” I gave up when my mother-in-law decided to enter my room and start vacuuming the floor. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML
Today, I was awoken at 3am by hotel management to tell me they received complaints about me from every room within 30 yards of mine, including from the floors above and below me. What was my crime? Snoring loud enough to rattle windows on the other side of the building. FML
Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML
Today, I moved into my brand new apartment, only to discover that there is an annoying, constant hum coming from the ceiling above my bed. FML
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
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Top comments
manb91uk 22
You're a guest in their house... Get over it
darkshadus 10
Just say ay breakfast "I hope my partner/SO/Wife/Husband can be that sexually active when we are your age" ..then cue awkward silence lol
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Comments (13)
manb91uk 22
You're a guest in their house... Get over it
RichardPencil 32
He’s under it.
RichardPencil 32
You’d better get some noise-cancelling headphones because old people can go for a long time. It’s one of the few benefits of getting older.
Aphrodite 20
LOL
darkshadus 10
Just say ay breakfast "I hope my partner/SO/Wife/Husband can be that sexually active when we are your age" ..then cue awkward silence lol
bloopaloop 27
I'm happy for them!
saberjpg 6
Seems like you're way too easily offended/ grossed out. People have sex. Accept it, and move on.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Plot twist: Your in-laws are downstairs watching TV.
1gullible_bugger 34
so at least you know your in-laws have a healthy sexual relationship. And you are a guest in their house.
K3719er 9
Sounds to me like you missed a golden opportunity to rub one out 🤣
baristalbc 18
Doesn’t that bode well for YOUR future sex life, considering your spouse is their offspring?