Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
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Top comments
little_aliceee 17
I wonder how painful it will be when he *****....
Fuaaad1994 31
He is going to regret it when he takes a dump
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Comments (97)
LeBandit 20
stings going in....stings coming out
rickaky10112 4
well damn
telli164 30
You birthed it
Branlamb 14
that might just be crazy enough to work...
onepotato2potato 0
You don't call your child an idiot! If he does something dumb then it's your fault bc your the one raising him.
SamanthaThe1st 23
Okay, by your logic, let's say someone is driving a car at 90 mph and kills another person. Who would you blame? The driver or the car?
Thatguy334 7
Obviously 57 would blame his parents
Ichiya 29
But someone raised them wouldn't it be the great great great great gandparents fault?
beefofwar 4
that sounds like good ole Adams County wisconsinite ;)
palosqueak 19
Natural selection, op.
ChopSuey444 20
I seriously hate it when parents call their kids idiots.
Thatguy334 7
Does that stem from your parents calling you an idiot?
shanannygians07 28
Good question #80
ChopSuey444 20
You should correct what your kid has done wrong. Telling him his actions are stupid is NOT the same as calling him stupid. Dowvote me all you want but no parent should ever call their kid an idiot. It's insanely psychologically damaging to hear the ONE PERSON who is supposed to always love you call you names.
jayeterror775 18
Actually my mom straight up would tell me if I was being stupid. It didn't damage me mentally at all. I knew that she truly loved me, I knew that she wasn't calling me stupid for no reason, and I knew that I deserved it for some of the stupid shit I did lol. She was the most amazing mom, and I am successful, all because she wasn't afraid to give me tough love when I truly needed it. Parents being soft on their children is the reason so many are growing up feeling so entitled, being spoiled brats, and it is the reason there are so many ****** up kids these days.