Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
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Top comments
little_aliceee 17
I wonder how painful it will be when he *****....
Fuaaad1994 31
He is going to regret it when he takes a dump
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Comments (97)
SamanthaThe1st 23
Stop entertaining your child's delusions. Yes, I understand shrugging off when your child makes a mistake. Normally that's the right thing to do. But that's only when the mistake isn't intentional. This guy's son knew that drinking hot sauce would make him sick, he drank it so he could ditch school. If you don't tell someone they are in the wrong, and trying to play hooky by intentionally sickening yourself is completely wrong, then they are bound to keep doing the wrong thing time and time again
demonfacee 14
Yea, some teenagers like to cut their brains open and toss them in the trash can.
hellowisaid 15
Why would he not want to go to school so bad ask him if he has a problem or anything in school with friends or teachers ever. Thougjt about that?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
I guarantee he felt that on the way out.
ninety 25
He might be skipping school, but not 'cause of a fever...
Akouseur 7
Peppers can actually raise your body temperature, so thinking hot sauce (which is made of peppers) could do it isn't that stupid actually.
Pyrithium 8
YDI for raising the idiot
bunny409 14
you're calling him an idiot but you are the one who raised him.....
kyrasrayne420 4
I'm sorry but thats hilarious
mchmelev1993 10
Olay!!