Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, while trying to prove how easy it would be for a burglar to break in, my drunk dad threw a brick at my window. Luckily, he missed. It hit the wall and bounced off. Unluckily, it bounced off, landed on my wife’s car, broke the windscreen, slid off, and put a long scratch down the bonnet. FML
Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, I was mowing my yard when I hit a small rock, which hit my shed. I got done mowing and realized that it wasn't a small rock, it was my son's toy plyers and it wasn't my shed, it was my car window, which had shattered on impact. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pattheaninal 9
wow. your son is dumb.
young_al 4
Sucks for you, make him work and pay for it himself!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (152)
Prankster7o7 5
There's a difference between "discipline" and "violence," stupid ass.
lordcaliburx 0
your son is retarded. if he broke it while playing football it was a mistake but breaking the other one was just stupid. besides the bird would of died on impact. your son is stupid and so are you for paying for it. make his ass get a job.
ideasrule 13
Do you have any idea how old his son is? He might be anywhere from 5 to 19. Telling a 5-year-old to get a job is not going to be productive.
missstella1994 0
wooow lol
sgenfkshe 5
kill the damn 'bird'.:)
carkwright2 0
▄██████████████▄▐█▄▄▄▄█▌ ████ █▌▄▌▄▐▐▌███▌▀▀██▀▀ ████ █▌▄▌▄▐▐▌▀███▄▄█▌ ▄▄▄█████████████████
Sirin_fml 47
There you go.
Evesapple671 0
that is just F*N hilarious !!
MaddaCheeb 0
lame excuse
zeta24 0
tell him he is not getting a big birthday present and use the money on fixing the windows
zeta24 0
when a bird hits a window, the window might crack but the bird will fall and die. Nothing else will happen to the window. In the slight chance the window does break, the bird will be extremely injured and here is not a chance in hell hat it will have the strength to break another one. Tell your son to think things through.
catatonicsleep 17
We have birds fly into our study window (something to do with them mistaking their reflection for another bird...) and they don't even crack it.
SaharNar 0
I love your sons excuse !!!! so funny!! but damnnn paying for what he did , that ain't funnyyy ..
alexavb15 4
So True!