Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, while trying to prove how easy it would be for a burglar to break in, my drunk dad threw a brick at my window. Luckily, he missed. It hit the wall and bounced off. Unluckily, it bounced off, landed on my wife’s car, broke the windscreen, slid off, and put a long scratch down the bonnet. FML
Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, I was mowing my yard when I hit a small rock, which hit my shed. I got done mowing and realized that it wasn't a small rock, it was my son's toy plyers and it wasn't my shed, it was my car window, which had shattered on impact. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML
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Top comments
pattheaninal 9
wow. your son is dumb.
young_al 4
Sucks for you, make him work and pay for it himself!
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Comments (152)
SassiestLemon 2
Addition to my above comment: Who knows?Maybe it'll be OP's son.
three3_fml 2
When he get his first job, make him pay it back
grdianknight 0
why is everyone assuming the son is old enough to know how dumb the story is
jupiter80 0
45- I would just say I didn't do it and blame it on one of my friends
ideasrule 13
Even very young and immature kids are usually loyal to their friends, and would not do with jupiter suggested.
aback 5
Y'all must have some badassed birds in Australia. 0_o
OCDC 9
They do. Look up Cassowary attack videos on YouTube.
beagle40 0
haha that's soo funny!! fyl
tiswine 0
c'est chien...
allia118 11
I see a grounding in this kids future. Sell his stuff prove a point.
Nades 0
I broke a glass door in high school but they only charged me 75 bucks, you're getting ripped off hard....
jamsie_fml 17
I bet this kid is in like high school and just a complete dumbass if he takes after his mother
jupiter80 0
r u saying all woman r dumb?
thatonedame 6
sounds like you kid has a lot of extra chores to do. punk needs to be mowing lawns or shoveling snow and what not. HE needs to pay for his actions. the first may have been an accident, but the second certainly wasn't.