Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, while trying to prove how easy it would be for a burglar to break in, my drunk dad threw a brick at my window. Luckily, he missed. It hit the wall and bounced off. Unluckily, it bounced off, landed on my wife’s car, broke the windscreen, slid off, and put a long scratch down the bonnet. FML
Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, I was mowing my yard when I hit a small rock, which hit my shed. I got done mowing and realized that it wasn't a small rock, it was my son's toy plyers and it wasn't my shed, it was my car window, which had shattered on impact. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML
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Top comments
pattheaninal 9
wow. your son is dumb.
young_al 4
Sucks for you, make him work and pay for it himself!
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Comments (152)
sapphyre13 0
what smart kid, i see a GREAT future ahead him. ....NOT lol
john7h567hgrd 0
W*hat a* smart kid, I* see a GREAT future ahead of* him. ....NOT,* lol.*
dirtyblond 4
grammar nazi!:O
ksgirl1324 0
says the kid smoking in his profile picture...
Illblowyourmind 3
Since when does smoking effect your grammar?
Grimmerie 31
also, according to his profile, he "loves baking," which one could take to mean he enjoys smoking weed. weed frucks you up, bitcheses.
SLP9008 0
lol
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Fly, fly away!
mintcar 10
How old is this kid? You should do some serious grounding.
spec2662 0
you are really pretty minticar
SassiestLemon 2
Sounds like something I would've done. When I was 3.
DocBastard 40
Do you mean Australian rules football, American rules football, or football (ie soccer for you of the American persuasion)? It makes a big difference! By the way, that is one BAD ASS bird that can fly through *two* windows and still get away. Was this a pterodactyl?
Zebidee 9
OP is from New South Wales, so they'd actually mean Rugby League. Australian Rules Football is the predominant code in all States apart from New South Wales and Queensland, where it's Rugby League (or Rugby Union if you went to an all-boys private school, if you get my drift). Soccer would always be called soccer unless you were fresh off the boat from Europe, and even then, you'd get the term beaten out of you quickly. American football - no-one plays that in Australia, it's regarded as a game for people that can't take a hit without being rolled up in mattresses first, and can't run more than ten yards without needing a rest.
SassiestLemon 2
I'm just waiting for the idiot who tells you to spell it: Teruhdacktil.
Scalabrine44 0
American football is the best, jackass
sourgirl101 29
Zebidee, I LOVE "American" football but must admit, your comment about it has me rolling in laughter!(:
DocBastard 40
Scalabrine44 - the world population would tend to disagree with you, as there are about 2-3 billion soccer fans and about 110 million American football fans. Which is "better" is purely a matter of opinion, just as it is my opinion that you are a twit.
OCDC 9
"By the way, that is one BAD ASS bird that can fly through *two* windows and still get away. Was this a pterodactyl?" Nope it was a Cassowary, the biggest bad ass bird in the world. They've been known to attack people, but windows are a new thing. Maybe the bird wanted to practice his karate?
Zebidee 9
Sourgirl - just do a video search for 'Aussie Rules' and you'll come up with some good stuff, and see what it's all about. Women seem to like muscley guys jumping 12 feet in the air in short shorts for some reason...
Scalabrine44 0
shut up, American football is the best. SUCK MY CAWK
sourgirl101 29
Oh, I watch it already and not for the short shorts. LOL I also watch cricket.(: I just enjoy American football because it's nice to be surrounded by other fans. Not too many people over here watch anything but that football.
T3P33_fml 0
many the kid was playing football WITH a bird, "helping" him through the window! if he did, he's indeed a total baddass (the kid, not what's left of the bird)
Scalabrine44 0
Awwhh my other comment got deleted
Sheepish 0
"Not to many people over here watch anything but football." Uhm, what about Baseball & Basketball, hmm? Also, Golf and Tennis.
mollyjynxjax 28
Actually 59, the cassowary is the third largest bird. Ostriches are the biggest, then emus, then cassowaries
milkndstufff 7
Lawls. He obviously is retarded...so its his dads fault for raising a stupid kid.
truehitman2010 0
it's a bird it's a plane it's SUPERMAN
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Aww that is too bad. Don't schools have insurance for things that get broken accidentally when children are playing ball at recess? What if the parents were both disabled and poor as dirt unable to ever pay that much? Maybe paying the deductible would be fair, but not the whole thing!
ohthebloodygore 16
25, that's what I had thought. When I was younger I smashed a couple of lockers on purpose. The school paid for damages even though I said I would have since I destroyed them and it wasn't an accident.
ohthebloodygore 16
since I destroyed them*
sourgirl101 29
I'd also be a tad bit concerned about the lack of adult supervision. (I'm guessing the child is young to come up with that bird story.)
Abomb91 0
Ah those crazy ass steroid birds are at it again... Flying through one window to grab a some chips left on the desk then flying through another (even though there is already a hole in the first window) to make its escape... Your kid has imagination i'll give him that.
ideasrule 13
Uh...it's usually both impractical and an unacceptable invasion of privacy to watch over every single kid during recess.
mollyjynxjax 28
Invasion of privacy? Seriously 100? It's their job to watch the kids and keep them safe! Are you really that ******* retarded that you would argue that schools can't watch over kids due to privacy issues?!
Mitch_Connor 11
I do hope you beat your retard son for that. FYL
GallifreyDog 2
$800 for two smashed windows? ****..
Thisismoses 0
you obviously don't know how big school windows are.