Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
Today, I attended my husband's funeral and my son carried out the eulogy, which basically turned into a character assassination, ending with "and I hope Hell is hot enough for you, old man." Almost our entire family agreed with every word he said. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
Today, it was my stepdad's funeral. Everything was great, until people got drunk, kicked off, and the police got called. FML
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML
Today, I am completely mortified. At my father-in-law's funeral, my husband put a bottle of beer on the coffin and announced to the room his dad was such a tight-fisted sod, it was the first drink he’d ever had on him. FML
Today, despite all my begging for him to at least be civil, my son started his eulogy at his dad's funeral with the words, “Let me tell you a few things about the bastard in the coffin over there.” It only got worse. FML
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Top comments
Ajwc101 24
Who attends a funeral drunk?! I feel so bad for the widow. F her life.
xoxokelsey11 5
I'm imagining a 20 year old groping a 90 year old...
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Comments (115)
EnterSandman_fml 20
I remember when I was a kid my brother whispered in my ear at a funeral, "I smell dead people.", which unfortunately caused a small laugh which could not be prevented.
zandalee 20
Classic. I would have wet myself laughing. I tend to laugh at totally inappropriate times at the best of times.
westcoastkp 13
she needs some lovin!
obviousboy 8
Technically, she's a free woman. :P
xmaximusx 12
Atleast you know he's not gay !! Lol
unknown_user5566 27
At least he waited until she was single.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Well, still he should've waited until the deceased was in the ground first.
perdix 31
Maybe he didn't passively wait for her to become single -- mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow, your son is an ass. Why is he drinking at a funeral, especially enough to get him drunk? And how old is he? I'm guessing not old enough to be legally drinking in the first place. You came an inch away from giving him his own funeral? What did you do exactly? Slap him on the wrist like most parents these days, then walk away like it was no big deal? I hope you kicked his ass; that's what he deserves. You don't do that at a funeral, and certainly not to the person whose spouse passed away.
robinhood007 9
Well if he isn't of age and still came to a funeral like that then he most likely was raised just getting slapped on the wrist or put in time out. Kids who are actually punished tend to not do things like that.
PYLrulz 17
Why didn't you?
42istheanswer 27
Why didn't OP what? Put him in a grave like he deserves? Or Be completely rude and join in? Your pic makes it hard to take your comments seriously.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Weren't they...hard? And that's weird that he can look at a dead woman and the first thing that comes to mind is "Lemme see what those ******* feel like!". Well, he IS drunk, but that's no excuse. Drinking at a funeral?! Sorry, OP.
unknown_user5566 27
... The son felt up the WIDOW, not her deceased husband.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Oh shit. I'm two for two on misreading FMLs today. Gahdammit.
Dracoboxer357 36
29- Lmao, I think I like your takes on the FML's better cause of how badly you misread then sometimes! :D If the deceased was the woman and the son was trying to feel her up, I have a feeling the still-living husband would have knocked his chicklets out and Op wouldn't have had to lift a finger, as the problem would have solved itself in a second. ;p
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I feel like I mind-****** myself. It's kinda bad when I read that he was molesting a corpse...
muengineer 1
Ok. Seriously, one, who attends a funeral drunk and two who trys to get into the pants of a widow as she try's to bury her husband? Total douche bag if you ask me. You should have a talk with him about not always thinking about his dick, it isn't the best thinking organ you thuan think with.
DoubleBlumpkin 4
Punish him with some bad touch.