Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving to work and I got a text from my girlfriend. She said she was breaking up with me. I was a little heartbroken, but I had to get on with my day. I got to work and my boss fired me. Turns out, my boss and girlfriend have been having an affair and she told him to fire me. FML
Today, I got a harsh warning from my boss. I apologized because I was genuinely in the wrong. My girlfriend found out about it and sent my boss a message, threatening to kick her ass. I'm now suspended. Thanks babe. FML
Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML
Today, I was short shifted at work because one of my employees decided not to show up. Furious, I wrote her up and made predetermined judgments about her. When she came in, I went off on her for being absent and leaving me stuck. She then informed me her mom tried to commit suicide. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, after I took extra shifts to be able take the woman I loved out for special weekend, she dumped me and now I'm working extra shift for no reason. FML
Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML
Today, I was suspended from my job for missing a team meeting that was planned during my lunch time. Needless to say, nobody had told me. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML
Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML
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Top comments
robertdr 0
dumbass slap a bitch
lovinit5683 0
Haha wow you had a stupid gf. Shouldn't you be happy she broke up with you?
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Comments (124)
robertdr 0
dumbass slap a bitch
magex381 0
sucks
nyrangers1022 6
its ur fault for not knowing ur schedule. u are irresponsible
nickernutz 0
oh so she used the reason I suggested. fantastic.
ell_oh_ell 0
stop relying on ur girl, man!!! guys can't do shit without their girls, and then they go treating their girl like shit!
quent10 0
how bout you shoulda just got the schedule yourself
FFML_314 12
how bout you shoulda just got the schedule yourself Re-write. "You should have just looked at the schedule yourself."
samantha987 0
waahhhhhh. I don't like you OP. you're whiney -_-
kmow32 0
well why didya miss work in the first place? hmm? o.0
1121osu2110 0
you should kno what days you work... it's ur fault...
Guuurlplease 0
shank her ass
pooponyuou 0
gibb's rule: nvr date a coworker
KiddNYC1O 22
she just didn't want to hear it lmao
BigBADBoY417 3
bitchz be crazy
NoelZ 0
what a bitch
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
lol this was definitely planned. probably cuz op is irresponsible/high maintenance.
SeanFredrick 3
Op if you were more responsible... tacos.
iownyou676 0
sexyhamburger sexyhamburger
SeanFredrick 3
you called?
mr_boss_2 0
HELL YA :D
mr_boss_2 0
HELL YA :D
iownyou676 0
hahaha yes sexyhamburgers
ceejster 0
it sounds like she was just looking for a reason to end it.
nynjapyrate 0
yes. NCIS reference ftw!
ndizzle 0
Assuming this story is true, she did you a huge favor. I can't imagine being with someone who is that unreasonable. I can barely imagine someone who *is* that unreasonable.
mattman1994 0
you work with your girlfriend? what are you doing working in the kitchen?
pooponyuou 0
174 what r u? a sexist?
crazyaces89 7
lol yes very true...that's rule no 12 I believe
quent10 0
yea 34 how bout you just write my next comment for then ok?
amanda09joex3 0
i agree with you #16 he shoulda looked at his schedule himself but it is some her fault too she shouldnt of broke up with him .. .
PrimeStarscream 30
What a nasty girlfriend.
Dashelle 25
Did you point out that she was the cause of the problem?
lovinit5683 0
Haha wow you had a stupid gf. Shouldn't you be happy she broke up with you?
comepoopwithme 0
#3 ur hot so I agree with whatever u just said. now go back to the kitchen! what r u doing on FML?
beancoinc 0
you go back in the kitchen? I would let you out of the bedroom!
JINJANINJA 0
now you got more free time, and don't need as much cash to spend on your missus. win win mate
Freeze_fml 17
Don't date your coworkers.
Freeze_fml 17
That's ironic. ._.
Freeze_fml 17
Like a boss.
Freeze_fml 17
Thief. ☹
FFML_314 12
Freeze has a face? Here I thought he was nothing more than a black hole. Does your face have a nose?
Freeze_fml 17
No. ☻
FFML_314 12
Are you saying no to my first question or second question?
FFML_314 12
But, you said he iicaptain stole his face. How can this be? Every face should have a nose.
FFML_314 12
*that Lord voldemort does not have a nose! You're right. I'm sorry. Forgive my assumptions please.
KiddNYC1O 22
lol ^
Freeze_fml 17
I didn't steal anything. ASDFGHSFDWADGH
Freeze_fml 17
Thieves everywhere.
FFML_314 12
What in the god damn ****? I want to make cool smiley faces. How are you doing this?!?!
fyourlife1990 0
*_*
FFML_314 12
You forgot about me, iicaptain!
FFML_314 12
It could go, "Freeze, you're all under arrest. I will show no mercy! Your ignorance is only making this worse. You're no longer the captain of this ship. For ******* My Life, I now present you with a $314 fine!"
FFML_314 12
BAM! YDI for not being more creative. :P
Freeze_fml 17
I hate Dragonball Z. It's like watching one of those constipation commercials.
Chrisskiies 0
A green circle, with a body attached to it.
SeanFredrick 3
how can anyone like a show called Dragonballz? fat flying lizard testicles combined with lame anime, woohoo!
SeanFredrick 3
now you've confused me. don't feel too proud though, it's not a hard thing to do
FFML_314 12
I'm attracted to thin, swimming, whale ass.
SeanFredrick 3
ffml that's my thing don't steal my thing! the switching words like that not the whale ass..
SeanFredrick 3
and theres no such thing as a thin whale that's like an old baby or yucky Mexican food, it just doesn't exist
sourgirl101 29
I'm forced to like DragonBallZ ): My husband thinks he's Mr. (Hercule) Satan.
FFML_314 12
Sean, there certainly are thin whales. However, I was referring to the whales ass being thin. Not the whale in it's entirety.
sourgirl101 29
How can I? I'm only a girl. *bats eye lashes while I'm secretly getting my hidden Chinese stars.
FFML_314 12
ò_ò Oh, I like this.
sourgirl101 29
DragonZ balls?
sourgirl101 29
Come on sweet candy! We don't need to hire anyone. We can be like Felix the cat with our bag of tricks!
FFML_314 12
Now that you're broken up, call her work 40x a day just to scream and yell at whoever answers the phone. Make sure you tell them it's your girlfriends fault. Or, you could just murder her.
Brittney_E 0
calling her several times alone will probably get her fired. good thinking... :D
rougeofwar 0
both your faces bug me
EatUrGreens 20
They work in the same place though?
Russian_Roulette 0
lame
WTF_FML_FTW 0
she did it on purpose DUHH
Trumane 4
uhhh yehhhh. its really your gfs fault you didnt know your own schedule [/sarcasm]
alyssaax3 0
wow, fyl. But ydi for missing your shift, be glad you have a job xP
WebDesigner22101 0
sounds intentional