Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML
Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML
Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML
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Top comments
Omfgitsmia 15
Sell her on the black market and call it even
notjanedoe 27
Your sister is nuts. What are your parents saying about this?
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Comments (173)
Ubehage 32
..and what is your reason, for not making her get the laptop back ? Not telling her; MAKING her! With any means needed; she has to get your laptop back.. I would have absolutely no mercy; giving her a choice: Get the laptop back in 10 minutes, or pay. And I get to choose payment and value!
4Madden 19
Cut up all her clothes and her shoes. Then tell that bitch that you are even.
Ubehage 32
They will never get even, untill she has realized how close she is to getting gangraped by 25 big black males.
interesting33 37
This makes me so angry. What the heck? She has serious anger management issues! I didn't even notice the bit about the laptop at first and still thought it was disgustingly out of order!
yeongji 31
I fear for her future husband and kids. I will not be surprised if she goes as far as filing a divorce over something like this, or leaving her kids behind at the mall.
kentuckyguy 4
Tonight,do a "fire-in-the-hole" on her bitchy ass.While she's in the shower,sneak in and throw the cat in the shower with her.If you don't have a cat,put a couple of drops of eye saline solution in her coffee/tea in the morning.
Marakie 16
Ur just rude
Ubehage 32
Yes he is. And so was she; she even sent him a handwritten invitation to come and beat her shitless. Did you have a pointe ? :)
chuckcloninger 12
She's a friggin psycho. I don't recommend trying to get even as she can be crazier than you and you have to sleep there. Best bet is to move telling your parents you don't want your sister to know your new address. In about a year the revenge can begin but in stealth mood. She won't know who it is because I'm sure she's pissed off many others beside you.
Omniprism 15
Sounds like she has some serious issues. Maybe a psychiatrist is in her future?
laden_swallow09 35
It's called a balancing valve. Look into it.
redhedsaysrawr 18
I hope you cleared your history that morning...
mrd97 10
Next time she goes out, give her hamster laxatives and then let it out of its cage. I'm sure she'll come home to a wonderful surprise. Although i think that could kill the hamster, so you might just wanna give it to some random hobo on the street. Im sure he could use a friend.