Today, I went down on my partner to the point where she suffered a TIA (transient ischemic attack) and lost consciousness temporarily. It seemed like she'd had a stroke, so I ended up having to call an ambulance, and she gets to spend two days in hospital because I apparently give excellent oral. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard that she had a seizure and passed out. FML
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML
Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML
Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML
Today, my girlfriend had one of her seizures during foreplay. She’s fine, but I’m not, she had my penis in her hand and while seizing she squeezed it so hard she ruptured some blood vessels on the inside. I'm now walking bowlegged and on medication to stop me getting erections that might cause more damage. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
Not that you’re bragging or anything
Nikki 17
I love when people come on here to boast and just give off the most small dick energy ever!
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Comments (8)
poopface82 25
Not that you’re bragging or anything
ashlston 12
TIA being a small stroke. Your oral did not cause a stroke.
RichardPencil 32
You ought to write that on a business card and hand it to women at bars. Your phone will blow up.
Nikki 17
I love when people come on here to boast and just give off the most small dick energy ever!
vchan 20
That was caused by the ******. I knew someone who had TIA attacks each time she had an ****** (because of health problems). All you can brag about is having given her an ******.
Wadlaen 24
I'd like to see that on a CV! Congratulations, BTW!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Let's try this again, but from the perspective of your girlfriend who actually had the FML moment: "Today, and to my surprise, my boyfriend managed to make me ****** from oral sex. It was such a shock to my system that I ended up having a transient ischemic attack, and I ended up in hospital for two days. FML."