Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML
Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend, KNOWING I have severe arachnophobia, changed the wallpapers on my phone and tablet to pictures of tarantulas, all because she's mad at me. And she won't change it back. FML
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Top comments
KomiExplosion 0
This is why we can't have nice things.
whatfml 0
you sound an annoying, drama feeding, self loving teen. just saying "omg I would totally stand on it with like my platforms"
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Comments (336)
Cue 0
I'm with 74 on this one. I raise and keep tarantulas and have never paid more than $250 for a spider, whether it be a s'ling, juvie, or adult. Even P. Metallica slings rarely go for more than $300 and they're really sought after..
rpelct4ever 0
but p matalica female adult could easily hit 500 I no if I wanna keep it like I wanna keep a p matalica for a long time I pay for female I got 21 t's
Cenobyte 10
I think killing a spider with a book is more premeditated than someone with a real phobia is capable of. YDI for over-reacting and killing the poor creature (even if it Is hideous). And your roommate deserves it for being so irresponsible with his spider. I think you should rather take the $500 and donate it to an animal welfare on his behalf.
Rayelian 1
I just feel sorry for the spider who died. Sure, you might think it´s ugly and hideous, but it´s still a life form... I won´t judge your phobia, but I doubt, that a spider has ever done any harm to you, so basically you hurt more spiders than vice versa...
rpelct4ever 0
:)
Bartimaeus 7
ydi. tarantulas are not even venomous. they are cute and harmless.
tona01 16
actually dome of them are like the blue tarantula
gogokira 5
No but they can kick little hairs into your face if you startle them.
rpelct4ever 0
wrong all tarantulas have venom from a rose hair about a bee sting to a pokie which causes u to not be able to fell bite area like arm or move intense pain and the sensation of boiling what're running threw Ur veins
glitchedgamer 0
Oh god what a mess
humdeedum 1
Don't pay! That's like throwing a $500 ice cube into a fire then blaming the fire.
rjnorton84 0
No it's like putting a $500 ice cube in a glass on the other side of the room and the fire burning the house down. Inappropriate reaction. Pay up (the appropriate amount.. ask for a receipt) OP.
psychodude8 4
bitch thats someones pet, would you kill a puppy with a book? damn right you owe him 500 bucks
zowieandzander77 1
Your roomate is a douchbag! It's completely unreasonable to bring home a pet, especially a controversial one like a spider, into a shared living space without discussing it with the other people who live there. I'm guessing you just freaked, as I would, and didn't mean to kill it. talk to your landlord it's possible pets like that are not allowed. I would move out.
zowieandzander77 1
*roommate
tucansam555 3
that's ur fault asshole quit being a puzzy
notquite69 0
Everyone has an excuse for being a douche and doing whatever they want. I have this. I have that. It's not my fault because I can't control myself. Take some damn responsibility for your own actions. He didn't put the spider on you. You had no reason to kill his pet. You DO owe him $500.
Levvy 22
Let's just hope OP runs into an arachnophobophobe. "Oh, I'm sorry I shot you! I can't help it! It's my DISEASE!"