Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
I guess you ruined her Feng Shui.
gonzaval 0
you should ask her/him before doing something like that.
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Comments (145)
Ali_Bamf 3
You totally deserved it! People respond very differently to change, when you rearranged the furniture you basically forced them to conform to your changes. **** that, this isn't China!
erinskye 2
you're an idiot! enough said!!!
Brandon_ryan 0
I would suggest growing a set and bitch slapping the roomie
intothecrypt 3
OP's a girl, so I would not recommend growing a pair. That really could ruin her sex life.
Calyx_fml 22
Never piss off a decorator.
Dolly_109 0
whos to say they're a decorator? maybe OP was the one who put the furnitre that way to begin with.
Deservesit22 1
Really? Am I the only one who got that?
SirEBC 7
Yeah, because Mercy was completely serious.
seraphxchild 3
time for a new room mate
Rainbow35 6
Your roommate might have had some kind of OCD, or some kind of disability (well, not exactly, but you get what I mean) that would make them flip out if their surroundings were randomly changed without warning? You could've at least asked/warned/consulted them before rearranging everything. I know if I had a roommate and they moved my furniture, I'd probably minorly flip out, possibly just being like, "Why the hell did you move everything without asking me?!".
ChibiChibi_fml 28
As I said to someone above, how do we know they even moved the roommates furniture? It could be that the OP owns all the furniture in the common rooms. I've seen situations like that before. If such was the case they would be well within their rights to move it whenever the hell they wanted. It could also be that the OP only moved the furniture that belonged to them around and the roommate just really doesn't like change.
Deservesit22 1
STOP MOVING YOU OWN DA** FURNITURE?
keilah 4
I would think that the onus would be on the roommate to mention if they have a disability, particularly if that disability may influence them in *threatening to kill someone* for *moving furniture*.
HomeAl0ne 20
What really got to them? Was it having the pillow end of their their bed in the oven, the electric heater in the bath or their favourite chair balanced on wine bottles under a noose?
Daederoth 10
This is only am FML if OP is a man and his 'roomate' is his mom.
meownow 0
sorry about your c*nt roommate !
annihil8or 15
Might make ur roommate happier if u sue her for death threats?