Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours, one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell, and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done, I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML
Today, I woke to the smell of poop in my apartment. I went to investigate and found out a cat had pooped in my living room. I don’t have a cat. FML
Today, my cat pooped on the floor. After cleaning it up, I’m fairly certain it was not my cat but instead my roommate, who I also suspect is pooping in the litter box. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I woke up and stepped on a wet jacket. After smelling what it was, it turns out the cat had peed all over my laundry, especially the waterproof jacket, and after attempting to clean it up, it dripped everywhere and the entire apartment now smells like cat piss. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
They're in deep shirt- I mean shit-- I mean your shirt's in shit- I mean this is nothing short of shit. The cat's out of the bag and into a pair of jeans so skidmarked you'd think the formula one was on.
bReLiNg 18
Sure her "cat" covered it up. She probably found it, and threw a shirt over it.
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Comments (62)
Elmoo_fml 16
It's not really smartness, cats always (try to) cover up their feces, it's their instincts. My cat sometimes tries to dig a hole in our living room floor, so I know it's time to put her outside when that happens.
Kuramasan_fml 12
Yeah, but cats also poop around the house to show displeasure by 'punishing' the human... It might equally have though 'I'll punish her for not cleaning then hide it to make it even worse' 8/
Synapsky 10
Your litter box must feel so cheated...
theawkwardlife 21
Aww he didn't want you to get mad :(
xtna 9
Dogs, dude. This is why people like dogs.
GTAmax99 12
Hell yea!
poccocurantes 7
That's exactly what OP needs. A dump two to three times the size on his jeans.
mduerden 18
Dogs do the same bs, mostly the piles are bigger.
GTAmax99 12
I only said hell yea because my profile pic is a picture of a dog
Sputnikspak 13
My 25lb dog poops less than my 10lb cat, because the 10lb cat is ancient and refuses to eat anything but dry food and one brand of wet, and my dog eats raw. Dogs aren't supposed to poop nearly as much as they do. Take all of the fibre and roughage out of their diet, and there isn't nearly half the poop. And my dog would IMMEDIATELY give it away if I came home and he'd pooped in the house. Cats will try to hide it, but dogs? You know when they're guilty. I also know very few dogs who 'rage poop' on their owners' stuff.
klutz44 28
One of my dogs has pooped in the house once, every time we move (which is a lot because my husband is in the Army). But after that one time, she never does it in that house again.
classicnathan 8
She owes you a new pair, make her get you a nice one!
Eivana 37
Gotta keep your clothing out of reach as much as possible. Cats LOVE to **** with us.
mduerden 18
How about you pick up after yourself?
samcro3 8
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
poccocurantes 7
Cats do not choose random times or places to crap on things. You have apparently run afoul of mr tiddles unless he does this all the time, then you should think about a new roommate. My cats never pooped on the floor until I got a roommate that didn't like cats. Suddenly their closet was a new litterbox.
TheCandyHater 7
Evilly genius indeed.