Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, I was walking my dog in my suburban neighborhood when all of a sudden we practically jumped out of our skin (and fur) when we heard what I assumed were fireworks. Nope, someone down the street was testing their new AR-15 in their backyard. All perfectly legal. FML
Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML
Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
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Top comments
damnit1989 16
Well that blows
Paco_el_Taco 17
Well at least you know where to go when the zombie apocalypse begins.
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Comments (132)
koolkanga 12
Build yourself a cannon and test it on his house.
damnit1989 16
I wonder how many down votes I can get on my first comment. Let's set a record, people!!!!!
BvbArmy_0 18
How about no
sunnyray812 42
Thumb him up. Don't give him the satisfaction.
tehdarkness 21
Is that legal??
zandalee 20
That's what I was wondering. Ring the police and ask, and if not and if he is actually mentally challenged, I would report him.
blackonblight 33
I seem to remember a news story a few years back where a guys celebratory cannon fire broke a neighbors wall, and the cops were kinda mystified because technically having a cannon wasn't illegal. He still got charged with vandalism or something, but it was apparently loophole stuff.
Gittoh 21
if he brake trees and harm nature with it... it should be illegal
shorty6823 28
I can harm nature with this plastic fork I'm using for breakfast. Should it be illegal?
Plinkin 10
I had to call my local police department and ask this same question before I built my cannon. I was told that since you load it from the muzzle, and it's a single shot, it is classified as a muzzleloader and 100% legal. Could be different where OP lives though.
SweetPuppy201 11
yes
91hayek 31
You better be careful OP, the cops might get involved as they are coming down hard now on home grown terrorists that are "self-radicalizing". He may be having his fun in the forest with an eye patch and his canon, but cops aren't taking any chances and will treat him like Waco if they want to. Be vigilant so you don't get hurt.
nesscafe_fml 17
Call the cops, this has got to be about 50 shades of illegal.
JRT1393 13
It's actually completely legal to own a cannon. My high school had one we shot off every time we had a touchdown
purbur 9
24, it could depend on the type of cannon and what it's shooting.
brenton490 19
Take out while police squad with it then him...I think I'll pass!
gracehi 33
If it's legal (which I don't doubt) I bet he still needs a permit of some kind. OP should look into that I'd he's concerned.
ClassyCataclasis 4
There is a huge difference between having a display cannon that fires blank rounds and building something to blast trees in your backyard.
xboxmaniac7 9
It's completely legal as far as I know. I know someone who has one. It's mostly a house decoration, but occasionly it would be taken out and fired on like the fourth of july. (Just black powder obviously, no projectile) But it's a blast! lol! That sucker was heavy too....!
ginger196 14
What if he shot down the police with his cannon?
CyberGothic 16
"Shoot down" the police? What, are they flying in to investigate?
Tl471 11
Actually, any form of cannon that loads from the front, shoots non-fixed( powder and projectile are separate) and non-explosive ammo is legal
JRT1393 13
#34 all cannons are loaded from the front, and therefore classified as muzzleloaders, so they're completely legal. I looked into all of this when I almost bought one
thisguy22 33
What about breech loading cannons, do those load from the front?
damnit1989 16
Where'd my other comment go?
OneToughChick 13
That is actually super awesome. I would love to have my own cannon.
singer0421 32
You should buy him a pie bomb since he's so into explosives and pirates. He'll blow up at sundown.
MixedGurl97 10
Have you seen the show fear thy neighbor? i hope you won't be on it lol
NineeCat 32
Go join him! It sounds like a lot more fun than just waiting around for some crazy shit to happen.