Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML
Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML
Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML
Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML
Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML
Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
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Top comments
insanesna1l 0
you have a super power. don't let it go to your thighs..uh I mean head
catkat1988 17
lol, aw, that sounds exactly like something my boyfriend would've said about me. Don't worry, though, he probably meant it in a loving way.
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Comments (101)
i_am_not_a_spy 0
So?
jewban 3
her husband is basically comparing her to an animal I guess?
11colio11 4
ydi for not wanting extra pudding.
TheWhiteDemon 0
sixth sense? this is not an fml
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
that's awesome, I have the same ability but with sniffing out college students with daddy issues. it's a gift and s curse.
TheWhiteDemon 0
are moderators human? cuase there are smileys in my warning email
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Relatively human..
im_wilder 0
whats OP complaining about you got a talent!
DocBastard 40
Demon - no, the moderators are evil, lab-created creatures, quite similar to Gremlins, who feed on misery, despair, sarcasm, and cookies.
LuxAeterna_fml 0
I hear that's a good diet.
MRiKiCCS 0
^^^would you hate me if i said i like Family guy more then you?
FAILml 7
that's the gayest and childest comment I've heard no offense dude, ur kinda commenting everything with family guy
Selena_is_back 7
chocolate is the herpes of candy... -_-
catkat1988 17
lol, aw, that sounds exactly like something my boyfriend would've said about me. Don't worry, though, he probably meant it in a loving way.
jewban 3
isn't that a good thing? be proud with what you have!
OverweightNinja 0
now all he needs to do is stuff chocolate in his pants
mazzera_fml 7
oink oink.. says the overweight ninga!!
roeallen 11
I am assuming you ment "ninja" if so, congrats on being the stealthest pig! Now that's something to be proud of!
5t3ff1k4h 47
54 - No way, man. You've never heard of a "ninga"? It's the newest thing around these parts... Fail, 14. It spells the word you're looking for right in his name...
Mervin22 6
take it as a compliment...kinda?
DaveOnDope 4
the sad part is a truffle is worth more. drop a chocolate bar or two down his pants, when he wakes up tell him you want pizza.
insanesna1l 0
you have a super power. don't let it go to your thighs..uh I mean head
Garytt 0
sniff carrots fatty
kbourco 0
lol that's funny
Jimboom 12
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, lets do it like they do on the discovery channel!
mikeyMcFly 0
lol classic!