Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
Today, my parents decided to go on a diet. This would be perfectly fine if they didn’t insist I go on one too. I weigh less than 90 pounds and am underweight for my height. FML
Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML
Today, my parents have gone from expecting nearly-impossible things to being convinced I can't do basic tasks. Apparently if you're not schizophrenic you can do things that are ridiculous, and if you're schizophrenic you can't do anything. FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML
Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML
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Top comments
mandywaffles 0
I thought cotton candy melted in your mouth...
Gamakichi 0
Well if you were able to post this, and use standard proper English; you'd probably, at the least, be allowed entry.
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Comments (166)
enonymous 9
If my dad didn't have a leash tied on me this would have happened to me. You should be so lucky this isn't your fate. Cotton Candy... The sugary killer
blargheria 0
you should be thanking them that they care. either way, FYL
brodyd10 0
Well if you use words like "reckon" your iq probably is low.
ThisRandomChild 0
I was gonna say that, but then I remembered that my family is from the south, and even though they say 'reckon' there still educated and intelligent.
Ugi 27
There's nothing wrong with using "reckon" to mean "think" - it's the third option quoted above and thou' informal, this is something of an informal site, don't you reckon? There are many turns of phrase used on this site that sound odd, excessively trendy or outdated to me. However, I can recognise that this is because most posters are American and therefore have quite a different exposure to colloquial expression. You might consider that not everyone has the same background as you. Failure to conform is quite different from a lack of intelligence.,
SomeFMLPerson 0
53 - Please don't claim to be educated and intelligent when you don't know when to use "they're" and when to use "there".
scenequeen2lean 0
Yeah those fun houses can really getcha.
Epsilonyx 15
This made me lol hard.
JustTemporary 24
I must say the necklace you have on in your profile picture is awesome! Harry potter
GabbyCharityM 0
Harry Potter ftw.
bgibbz 15
I didn't read your comment fully at first and thought you wrote "This made me hard"...lmao
Thejackel79 9
As someone who has worked in carnivals my entire life, I am going to want to slap your parents for being the ones with low iq. if someone chokes on cotton candy I would be impressed considering it is mostly sugar. as for the hall of mirrors part well I don't want to say it can't happen but you seem intelligent enough for it not to. bottom line fyl and screw your parents
Bizzzy 5
woah show off that you know more than they do
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Watch the keyboard it has sharp edges!
MichaelReyes1 3
owned >.
justysgirl 3
haha I reckon. who says that?
SPD935 5
I do. But I live in the south. it is "different" here.
justysgirl 3
I live in the south too but I've never heard someone say it
SPD935 5
hmm, maybe it's just me then idk.
redneck14 11
#28 its not just you. I live in the south.. Wayy too many people say it here
dudeitsdanny 10
I done reckon you fellers ain't spent emough time in the south. Neither have I, but I watch TV, and I can't read this FML without a thick, southern accent. I also read it as I imagine Huckleberry Finn would.