Today, my parents woke me up at 4 am and informed me of their impending divorce. They then woke me up again three hours later and told me "never mind". This same routine happens several times a month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were "bored". FML
Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML
Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML
Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML
Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook from my sister who lives 8 hours away in another province. They made the decision 3 weeks ago. I live with my parents. FML
Today, two days before my birthday, my parents drove three hours to visit me at school and take me out to lunch. I assumed that it was to celebrate my birthday. They told me they are getting divorced. FML
Today, my parents made me wake up at 7 a.m., like every morning. When I woke up exhausted, my mom rolled her eyes and said, "It’s called going to bed earlier." I went to bed at 10 p.m. last night. I fell asleep at 5 am. FML
Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML
Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML
Today, I moved out of my parents' house and started living alone. All of a sudden, my parents started requiring me to text or call them every 5 minutes to tell them where I am and what I'm doing, from 6am to 12am every day. If I don't, they will go looking for me, and force me to move back in with them. FML
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Top comments
majorbob10 0
Some parents you got there. FYL
asoptavlo14 6
No, because clearly the FML stated they were arguing at noon. Lol yes that late.
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Comments (155)
pieintheface 0
4am? Were the arguing that late?
asoptavlo14 6
No, because clearly the FML stated they were arguing at noon. Lol yes that late.
pieintheface 0
Well then shouldn't op be waken up by their arguing? I mean, before my parents got divorced, they were arguing really loud.
iloveeyouuxD 9
Lol #7 awesome :D
shovels 0
Would you rather have them get divorced or wake you up early several times a month?
OceanBreathesSal 5
I don't see what is so surprising about parents arguing so late/early. My parents argue around that time almost every night. Once they were arguing at 6 in the morning.
Amrel 10
At least it didnt happen
jayalexander 7
ok the problem would be solved if OP just locked the door and put on some headphones for the night
lydia_is_gayyy 1
You shoulda locked your door and put a sign on it saying "MASTURBATING. do not disturb"
daAce77 8
The morale in that house must be really low..
jake1632 9
At least they don't divorce. Sleep is a small matter compared to your parents splitting up.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
If they are waking the OP up like this several times a month than they need counseling. If they are in counseling and this is still happening then they should probably just get the divorce. The constant fighting can not be healthy for anyone in that house. My parents are divorced and believe me, my sibling and I were relieved when they finally split because the constant tension was driving us bonkers.
Slim2306 10
LOL 50 that would totally work... Fap fap fap
JustHello123 1
Ah man that sucks. :/
majorbob10 0
Some parents you got there. FYL
genesisnirvana 11
On the bright side at least they're not getting divorced. . . Yet
otb113 7
on the downside, OP still hasn't learned the importance of a lock..
Dispute 3
Atleast they care enough to tell you. :)
goshpeople 4
A good solution would be to ask your parents NOT to tell you about their decision to divorce as soon as they make it, i.e. at four in the morning. Instead, get them to wait, maybe sleep on it, and if they still feel the same way after a day or so, then you want to know. Or, since you've had plenty of warning by now, just ask them to tell you about it after the papers are filed.
kameryn25 3
I feel you the same thing happens at my house.
genesisnirvana 11
Your parents wake you up at odd hours in the morning telling you they're getting a divorce?
kameryn25 3
Yea.... Is that not normal.
genesisnirvana 11
not really. . .lol
Ugi 27
3 - I guess you mean "feel _for_ you..."! 27 - not even close. Hope it worked out.
abbeyebba 0
same
Brool_Story_Co 17
3- Can you please clarify, does your comment mean A) I feel you, the same thing happens at my house. or B) I feel for you, the same thing happens at my house. There is a pretty big difference between the two statements. Please confirm your grammar in the future.
kameryn25 3
idk maybe u should use the brain god gave you and your common sense to decipher the obviously very tricky comment I posted.
Brool_Story_Co 17
Sorry I lost all my brain cells when I read your comment. Idiots just depress the **** out of me
kameryn25 3
Believe it or not reading does not kill brain cells contrary to popular belief and I unlike yourself can read into a comment and understand it's meaning without every scrutinizing detail. Congratulations also on your ability to copy number 46's post. Where I come from that's called plagiarism and that annoys the **** out of me.
lulututu 4
112 is awesome :)
Brool_Story_Co 17
I annoy a lot of people, I don't really give a ****
fatass_ninja 0
I feel ur pain! it's so annoying, and I can hear them doing it afterwards too
Nanall 15
I hate that about parents.
rayrayray23 1
I'm sure parents hate u too
Nanall 15
Actually if you don't know what you're talking about, stfu please
ZEPPLIN_fml 3
32 stop being a bitch to 89 she didn't do anything to you soooo get the tampon out of ur ass and apologise.
Amrel 10
Yea! What 91 said and junk!
TheRealHouse 7
Um.. can I have some?
ZEPPLIN_fml 3
damn man that should be a movie
schaflava 0
My girlfriends parents hate me because millions of babies die on her face every night.
snade 0
wow... fyl. why would they even wake you you up and tell you if they really were going to get one. I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep if mine did that...
jobsman99 0
that really stinks. sounds like you are the mature one and they need to grow up.
MaRi3_ZaN3 0
ikr.
Bijaglo 3
Parents can be as temper mental as little kids and not to mention most marriages are a little rocky.
iGlasses 4
Bad sex or what?
dagray40 7
No the make up sex was that good..... hint the three hours later. Great sex turns around any bad relationship. Until next week.
_Number9 5
The best sex is angry sex.
Amrel 10
Its bad sex if the babys are girls and good sex if the babys are boys but a wise man once told me "wrap it before you tap it"
otb113 7
Yeah, stick a carrot in her ass!
KellyIsTheBest32 12
The point i was trying to make is that OP isn't lucky to have two parents there in the same house if no one is happy.
kaykay9080 5
Lol number 48. xD
demarcusT 0
well if he can last 3 hours during the break up sex I can understand her taking the divorce back
haiu2323 10
Oh Yeah!
RebekahBrooke 9
wow. bad parenting much?
Amrel 10
I misread the brooke in your name for black i was about to put my troll face on
ladyreal420 3
wow I hat skinny bitches who call thick girls with ass fat. BITCH just because u r skinny no having ass BITCH don't mean others r fat.... I beta 1,000 dollars u wouldn't say shit to anybody's face....
Ugi 27
Excuse me 45 - you seem to have taken a wrong turn somewhere.
ladyreal420 3
I hate skinny bitches who call thick girls with ass fat.... just because u r a skinny no ass having ***** don't mean others r fat. I bet a 1,000 dollars you wouldn't say shit to anybody's face. its girls like u who get ****** up in the end because u don't think before you run ur dick sucker..............fyl
seeunexttuesdays 6
Am I the only one who's confused as to wtf ladyreals talkin about?
mk58 31
I think 45 is attempting to attack 13's profile. She's RAAAAAAGING.
RebekahBrooke 9
lolwut. and ew no and anyway Rebecca Black. not Rebekah. she's not cool enough to spell it like that.
TheRealHouse 7
Lol Rebekahhhhh... like something you would say after a shot of Jack
RebekahBrooke 9
RealHouse, you make me sad.
RLG 7
Aha lol that was funny
Link5794 18
Some good childing would be to wake them up to inform them of your impending masturbation, and only revoke your statement half the time.
loserman67 36
Sounds like your parents have a little "Break-up / make-up" game going on. This probably turns them both on to fight - tell you they are getting divorced - go into their room and screw like a pair of rabbits - then tell you everything is okay. Sorry, did I just give you an unerasable mental image of your dad popping your mommy's va-jay-jay from behind like a rabbit does to it's mate?
Perksofbeingawal 0
What the ballz?...
mk58 31
Very graphic image. -.-
TheRealHouse 7
Wasn't that graphic.. It's not like he went into detail about dads ballsac slapping into moms pupic bone while he grabs a fistfull of hair... sry