ironyisabitch
Rohnert Park, United States
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
lehonX9
Hanover, Germany
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
hypercrite dad
United Kingdom
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Anonymous
United States
Anger management
Today, my parents tried to apologize for wrongly grounding me. I told them to go fuck themselves, so now I'm re-grounded. FML
valarmorgoolies
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Binghamton, United States
Dope
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Anonymous
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Anonymous
Auckland, New Zealand
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Alyssa
United States
Stoner
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Anonymous
Deland, United States
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Anonymous
United States
Bad grandma
Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML
say no to dick
Newcastle, Australia
Sneaky dad
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Top comments
tony1891 22
should have smoked it. at least then it'd be worth getting grounded for.
xFluttershy 7
I tried smoking weed once when I was a little kid, then I found out that there were two kinds of "weed" and I had the wrong kind.
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Comments (246)
brianjman14 23
It is ironic. Lots of kids are getting punished for their parents discovering their weed. But the OP got punished for discovering his parents' weed. See the irony now?
brianjman14 23
Threaten to report it to the police if they don't learn to share, OP! Sharing is caring. :D
klovemachine 24
Amen!
tanay97 8
With parents like that, you must be having a hard time. Good luck OP.
liquid_sasquatch 10
Did they find you smoking their stash?
the_anti_hipster 7
Begin comments by people with sticks up their asses about how weed is bad, OP's an awful person, blah blah blah, in 5...4...3...2... Lighten up. Relax. Hey, I know something that does just that!
ManInTheMachine 20
And honestly, it's not even OP's fault. It was THEIR stash of weed, not his. I doubt he was turning over tables looking for it. I'm just bracing myself for another weed flamewar. The mods really let us have at it on the last one. :)
the_anti_hipster 7
Alcohol was once illegal too--as was divorce. Tying your giraffe to a telephone pole and bathing an elephant in a pond is also illegal. I acknowledge the need for decorum and laws, but I have difficulty with arbitrary laws on a "war against drugs" that has failed miserably and cost our nation billions of dollars. Plus, the hypocrisy in the OP's post is super hardto get past. I know your point, mods. I really do :)
JoeLouisBomber 9
Lol "weed can be very dangerous" that made me laugh. Ya its dangerous if you're mixing it with other hard drugs. I used to think weed was a "dangerous drug" and that its illegal because its "bad" truth is its the complete opposite, but it dosent matter it wont change the way you see it. Yes there are probably spelling errors.
horneyhic 15
Weed is illigal because in the early 1900's it was cheaper to make paper from hemp then it was from trees so the paper manufacturers lobbied (using studies that were later debunked) for it to be illigal. Untainted marijuana is one of the least harmful mind altering substances there is. In fact it can't directly kill u either from OD or long term side effects
PrincessPesa 20
George Washington, the first US president, was also a huge hemp advocate. Look it up.
ICastillo 25
You and your parents need to sit down light one up and talk it over OP.
pexy_fml 16
Report them to the police
j_cat187 20
Nobody likes a snitch
pexy_fml 16
Don't make a big deal out of it It's just a joke
j_cat187 20
I don't understand how betraying your family is funny.
pexy_fml 16
So your gonna cry now, drama queen
Crazberry 5
I'm probably gonna get thumbs down or rage replies but I think they should just go right ahead and legalize marijuanna for recreational use. Not only would the excitement/rebellion disappear for a lot of kids (meaning that most of them might not touch it at all) but it would help the economy (if it was sold over the counter) and spare us these sorts of fmls because family game night would take on a whole new meaning. (I'm perfectly aware of the negative repercussions of smoking weed, but that's why you shouldn't do it ALL the time.)
ManInTheMachine 20
This is a very touchy subject, but I think your explanation is very....well thought out. Personally I'm on both sides of the fence on this issue, but your comment was very intriguing. Thanks for a good read. :)
Crazberry 5
If you're not being sarcastic: You're welcome :)
ManInTheMachine 20
Nsh, I wasn't. Maybe I should've added more smileys. :))))
laden_swallow09 35
I wouldn't say /legalize/ it but rather decriminalized and regulated. Slap a tax on it, make it little more than tobacco cigarettes or other controlled substances like prescription drugs. Education than abstinence is the smarter route. My only regret in saying that is that I enable all the good-for-nothing abusers and layabouts when I take this stance.
laden_swallow09 35
Baby steps.
mintstashinurtea 5
at the end of the day people are going to use it no matter what the legal status is on it. so they may as well help the country out and tax it.
PrincessPesa 20
People don't need to smoke any weed be good-for-nothing abusers and layabouts. Many people are just born that way. It's easy to blame substances for people's actions. I agree with your overall, though.
hthelittleone 10
Thank you so much for posting this comment. It's like alcohol, if my parents locked it up, of course I'd want it. But if it's available, it's not as exciting. I used to have to have medical marijuana for chemotherapy, and it does a world of difference in the field of nausea. I agree, I think it should be legal.
zmoney2121 6
I giys are so sad. U dont smole it u call the police and leave it. Weed KILLS u
ManInTheMachine 20
Seems to have killed some of your brain cells already.
GothicAngel17 24
The stupid is strong in this one.
ICastillo 25
52 I want to Falcon Punch you right now, right in the f***ing face.
j_cat187 20
And that's ******* Chuck Norris talking. No point running, prepare to get turned inside-out.
taytoc 10
It's funny how there NO deaths recorded from weed EVER. as for tobacco an alcohol they cause over 30 million deaths a year. Weed helps cancer patients an shit like that an it's proven it doesn't hurt your lungs but improves them.
Calyx_fml 22
There is a recent study that shows that the CBD in weed is an extremely effective treatment for schizophrenia without any of the side effects of current pharmaceuticals.
c8750 2
Please #52, give me an example of how weed "killed"
TColby 12
How many times have you heard of someone smoking so much weed that they just died? It would be something new for me.
PrincessPesa 20
149 it's basically impossible, you'd have to smoke about a pound or more of it- by that point it would be more of a smoke- inhalation issue than a weed issue. Someone might have the errant paranoia attack when they get high but that is NOT an overdose.
horneyhic 15
158 ud accually have to smoke roughly ur own weight of regualar quality weed to od
PrincessPesa 20
165 thanks for clarifying, I said more than a pound just to give some scope. A pound is a lot, and if what you said is true 103 Lbs. of weed are safe from me! At least in bulk... Hah.
perdix 31
"My house, my rules." You may live in a stoner house, where weed is ok, but beer is not. Go live with the drunk family next door, where the rules are switched. In my house growing up, we could say the standard dirty words, but our parents would execute us if we said the N-word. There were kids down the street who used that word a lot, but would get smacked for saying "hell" or "damn."