Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML
Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML
Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML
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Top comments
randomthing 22
I like your parents :p
jazzyjazz23 9
At least they used a good reference, right?
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Comments (133)
DaniPandi 22
I absolutely love this. Made my day :P
onlychildFTW 34
Haha that seems like a pretty good gift.
Phoenix_10 2
That's actually funny though.. Haha (:
Ranchtastic 4
Totally thought you were going somewhere else with the sock thing...
mercymedical 6
Me too!
Mister_Triangle 21
"Now that you're legal, have some safe, consensual fun with your new friend Socklette Johansson"
Trix_Disorder 20
I was sure it was going to be a lack of girlfriend/masturbation joke as well.
kalbrek009 20
Lol...18, I was thinking the same thing, but there wasn't a reference to him being caught with his junk in his sisters bottle of lotion.
mercymedical 6
Yes! Only in Indiana! Hoosier love OP!
P374RD3D 9
These "Only in _________" comments aren't funny.
MrSarary 26
American pie if you know what I mean :D
retrorewind 13
im from Indiana too, the home of the Hoosiers. hoos-ur-momma, hoos-ur-daddy
ArielTheMermaid 17
I'm from Indiana. This could have happened anywhere
pbonham 22
OMG you're parents are awesome!!!
OhDearBetrayal 25
Eye twitching...must...control...grammar Nazi urges...
Zaros_fml 24
Don't fight it, 39. Embrace it!
zen1979 16
Lmao I have to... YOUR. Pls ppl, it's 2nd, maybe 3rd grade grammar. *sigh* I weep for the future...
nikkon416 13
49- How can you correct some on his/her spelling when you are too lazy to spell the words like "please" and "people"?
zen1979 16
FYI: it's called an abbreviation or 'short form' and for the purposes of communicating via the Internet, is completely acceptable. Incorrect spelling, grammar or vocabulary reflects ignorance.
Calingaladha 21
...nah, shorthand form makes you look stupid regardless of where you use it. I'll use the occasional 'lol', but text speak is like really hot sauce...use sparingly.
BunchieRules 31
And it's also forbidden on this site. It seems nobody reads the commenting rules anymore.
ShatteredRubiks 16
Why is this an FML? I would be rapt if my parents did that.
onorexveritas 24
this is funny and mean at the same time
annie_nk 23
If it was a fuzzy sock, slide out like a boss.
protoskore 27
I will never understand this American mindset that allows parents to sever all ties and throw their child into the world with little or no preparation.
oceanbeauty 17
I really don't understand why you would think Americans do that. I've never met a single person that had been just kicked out without any help. I'm sure OP's patents were not being serious.
theprincess79 2
I would never kick my kids out of the house (even jokingly). I will gladly keep them in my house with me where I know they are safe until such time as they feel ready to move out on their own.
kofeinisti 6
It's not an American thing. Pretty much every country deems an 18-year-old an adult - parents are not required to support adults anymore. While it isn't the norm anywhere, I'm sure this happens all over the world in some extent.
TheOnlyX 11
Because they have a full 18 years of preparation, and American kids seem to be more productive with trial by fire......oh wait that was back in the Soviet Union -.-'
kitkatkit 4
79 - My brother is 35 and sleeps on my mother's couch and he might have a job at McDonalds. He's trying to start a business... Good luck if your kids end up like that.
outoftown 27
#36. Not sure? If they weren't serious, why would OP make this an FML? So sorry, OP. Best of luck.
kalbrek009 20
46, I'll believe it when I see you paying for 1-4 50-60 yr old kids who have no lives or jobs of their own & have no preparation for the real world after they put you in a nursing home & can't figure out how to cook, clean or interact with the rest of the world properly.
ShadowRaptor 9
Lolz not Spain. The average man moves out when he's 35. Then again they do have 27% unemployment, so not much of a model.