Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML
Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML
Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML
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Top comments
randomthing 22
I like your parents :p
jazzyjazz23 9
At least they used a good reference, right?
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Comments (133)
DRush_fml 12
This is possibly the best way a parent could kick out their kid!
darkmis1 18
I can't be the only one who thought it had to do with jacking off.
SamanthaCassieL 10
man, you must have really pissed them off! but I am sorry for your luck, that is really unfortunate.. hope things work out for you asap!
marramrammar 2
LMAO - did The Lord of the Rings move on you!
raraisbang 12
Actually, no. It's a Harry potter reference; I'm assuming you've never seen HP or Lord of the Rings if you seriously thought that was what this was referencing.
Le_Anonymous 9
Your parents are the shit.
Purdman 1
hells_bells86 9
your parents are awesome. lol.
OceanBlueSea 12
Your parents are Awsome. That is hilarious!
Jaredspants 0
Parenting: they're doing it right.
IPoopedOnU 12
Did anyone else thing the sock was meant for something else?