Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family are really into rugby so I tried out for a local team. It didn't go well, and afterwards I couldn’t find my dad anywhere. It turns out he was so embarrassed by my sheer incompetence, he got in his car and drove away. I had to walk 9 miles home, which isn’t easy in rugby boots. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I had a crucial volleyball playoff game. My dad came to watch. While in a set, my friend pointed over to the bench where my dad was sitting. I turned to see my dad snoring loudly as a result of him falling asleep. He achieved this with loudly cheering people all around him. FML
Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML
Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML
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Top comments
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Grown men buttfucking each other. Sounds intresting.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
dude that's not soccer (or football) your describing thats gay **** :o
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Comments (102)
THE_A_TEEN 28
Wait, who would just leave their kid sleeping by herself and travel 5 miles away without her?
ineslovescats 5
I think it's that lame parent thing about "trying to teach a lesson"
rulingtomax 0
I'm caught between FYL ad YDI OP
Calyx_fml 22
Buttlicking?
funky303 6
Sounds like American Football to me. The ball touching and buttfuckig. And maybe Rugby. But never ever Soccer.
LivingProdigy 0
Kids now a days... Whats happened to this world..
Shrike 24
You're 19. You need to wait at least 30 more before you start with those fake memories of paradise on earth.
bubo_fml 11
I'm assuming this 'Family Soccer Game' included your; father, uncles, brothers, etc nearly having a ****-a-roo in a public park? If so, I'm amazed at your nonchalant attitude..."Oh well, ho hum, Johnny's gettin' his hemorroids hurdled by big Daddy, no big deal, might as well grab some shut eye!"
hoohaa17 2
YDI for hating soccer bitch
THE_A_TEEN 28
People have opinions. Not everyone in your self-centered universe likes the same ******* thing you do. Bitch..
bizarre_ftw 22
Fain an interest in the opera and (while they're bored out of their minds) say you have to use the bathroom, grab the keys while they aren't looking, and drive off. Pay a homeless guy to wait around and tell them it's pay back, just for that cherry on top satisfaction.
bubbywaldo 0
Feign is what you mean.
bizarre_ftw 22
2 days without sleep and a momentary lapse of sense combined to cause me to rely on my autocorrect. Stupid move. Thanks :)
alfred07 18
What sort of football match were you watching?
mrsmillsy 10
Poor you, I hated being dragged to my brother's soccer matches. I mean, it's an okay sport but not when you're forced to watch.