Today, my niece stole a bottle of whiskey from me to mix with Monster and get drunk with her boyfriend. It was a bottle of 23-year-old Pappy Van Winkle's that cost over $2000. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while sleeping off my hangover, my niece asked me to get her a drink. I gave her a beer, I didn't notice it until it was gone. She is only 6 years old. FML
Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, I let my nephew and his friend spend the night to watch movies. After I fell asleep, they stole my liquor and went roaming. When they saw the cop car in front of my house and realized they were busted, they went up to the cop and told them I gave them the alcohol to avoid being grounded. FML
Today, I'm cat sitting for some friends. Their whiskey selection is well curated and top notch. I grabbed a bottle that I thought was the cheapest, I ended getting drunk on a $500 bottle. I’m going to have to fill it with a lesser brand. FML
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
Make her pay for it. Every last penny, no matter how long it takes her. Adjust for inflation if you're feeling particularly aggrieved.
Squeepy 19
And where did you end up hiding her body?
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Comments (78)
Laphog 17
Hold on. She thought monster would taste good with whiskey?
Cali 57
I don't think we're dealing with a connoisseur, here.
trollcrusher 17
Most dumb kids don't know how to appreciate the taste of a fine liquor, they often just drink to get hammered. Maybe the purpose of the Monster was to make the taste more tolerable to them, but I'm assuming it was mainly for the rush from combining alcohol and stimulants. Whatever the stunted thought process behind this was, I hope the niece is being held fully accountable! Two grand and over two decades of aging, wasted (no pun intended).
SamySosa 10
she must be from the generation that thinks crown taste good with mountain dew ?
Moerighan 23
She thought Monster tastes good?
TanzWolf 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Should have stuff like that kept safe tbh
tantanpanda 26
Excuse OP for thinking that the whisky is safe in his own home. Maybe it should just be kept under the bed or something so that it's "safe".
mrBearBear 11
Or maybe her parents should do a better job of instilling basic morals and logic in their daughter.
species4872 20
<p> Even parents can't compensate for stupid.</p>
nix1993 41
Make her pay for it. Every last penny, no matter how long it takes her. Adjust for inflation if you're feeling particularly aggrieved.
KaiserFlash 4
Also educate her on the finer points of whiskey. As in don't mix ******* whiskey with monster!
chirstinap325 23
At least she's got good taste, take away the monster though.
acmariner99 25
Wow ... that's extremely dangerous.
Tripartita 45
Nieces: get your shit together! This isn't the first time today you've ****** things up.
maemismile 22
Woah, time to talk to her about a payment plan!
RichardPencil 32
Monster is a sophisticated melange of subtle flavor notes, so it deserves top-shelf bourbon to complement it for the discriminating palette. You couldn't expect your niece to ruin Monster with Everclear or Listerine?
Squeepy 19
And where did you end up hiding her body?
Dedski 11
Now we're asking the real questions.
rgetting 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Seriously, you can taste the difference between a $2000 bottle of whiskey and a $40 bottle. I call BS. If you can afford $2000 for a bottle to satisfy your ego or impress your friends, I say lighten up.
brewmasterg 34
It may have been a gift, or kept for a very special occasion. My fiancé has a bottle of whiskey worth close to $500 which we only bring out when we are celebrating something. Just because someone owns something worth $2000 doesn't mean they have to forfeit the right to disappointment when someone takes it away from them. Also bottles of that price range are usually aged and yes, you can taste the difference.
Sparkieemae 14
1. It wouldn't matter if you "can't tell the difference. 2. The point is that it was his property and it actully was worth thousands of dollars. 3. You can most definitely tell the difference. 4. It might not have been to "show off" for "friends" something worth that much could easily be a family heirloom or a gift for an important life event like a college graduation or a marriage. 5. Or maybe it was just something he worked his ass off for and saved up his own money to purchase for himself. In any event she had no right to steal it (and ruin it in an honestly offensive way if you actually appreciate top shelf liquor).
chosha_fml 27
Also, some whiskeys are bought as an investment and increase in value over time.