Today, an attractive woman on a bus told my girlfriend I was good looking and that she was a lucky woman. She immediately took me home, shagged me vigorously, cried, and then broke up with me because, “It’s not you, it’s me.” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after many attempts at getting my girlfriend to ride the bus to see me rather than taking Uber, she finally did. She ended up meeting a man who convinced her that she should break up with me. She listened. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, I was talking to a hot girl at the bus stop. She seemed interested in me and I was feeling a connection forming. When the bus came, I offered to let her board first, but she said it "wasn't her bus" and said goodbye. Later, I realized I'd spent 20 minutes making moves on a prostitute. FML
Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend. I sat her down and gave her the speech. She broke down in tears and said, “Why does every guy always abandon me? Why am I never good enough?” I felt so bad for her that I took back the breakup and we’re still together now. FML
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her father looked me up and down, said, “No” then went back to his TV. My girlfriend immediately broke up with me and threw me out. I even had to get a really expensive taxi home, because we’d driven in her car and I had no idea what part of the city I was in. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML
Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me. In her words, “Liking you fucked up my brain.” Later that afternoon, she posted a story of her with another dude’s arm around her. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, my girlfriend’s friend decided she wanted to tell her that I was flirting with other girls, just so we would break up. It worked. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
The beautiful woman (who is automatically an authoritative judge of aesthetics) basically told your girlfriend that you're out of her league. Just get back on the bus -- both literally and figuratively.
JackWood 21
It is her and not the last one like her you're gonna meet.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
The beautiful woman (who is automatically an authoritative judge of aesthetics) basically told your girlfriend that you're out of her league. Just get back on the bus -- both literally and figuratively.
JackWood 21
It is her and not the last one like her you're gonna meet.
Nico97 3
sounds like you dodged a bullet before crazy takes half as well