Today, my niece stole a bottle of whiskey from me to mix with Monster and get drunk with her boyfriend. It was a bottle of 23-year-old Pappy Van Winkle's that cost over $2000. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while sleeping off my hangover, my niece asked me to get her a drink. I gave her a beer, I didn't notice it until it was gone. She is only 6 years old. FML
Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, I let my nephew and his friend spend the night to watch movies. After I fell asleep, they stole my liquor and went roaming. When they saw the cop car in front of my house and realized they were busted, they went up to the cop and told them I gave them the alcohol to avoid being grounded. FML
Today, I'm cat sitting for some friends. Their whiskey selection is well curated and top notch. I grabbed a bottle that I thought was the cheapest, I ended getting drunk on a $500 bottle. I’m going to have to fill it with a lesser brand. FML
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
Make her pay for it. Every last penny, no matter how long it takes her. Adjust for inflation if you're feeling particularly aggrieved.
Squeepy 19
And where did you end up hiding her body?
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Comments (78)
poprocker11221 10
Shit
thehaystackerine 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm sorry, but you deserve this 100% for paying more than $20 for a bottle of whiskey.
BlameTheOwls 14
You deserve your crappy $20 whiskey.
tallulahblu 0
Just because you can't afford more than a $20 bottle doesn't mean you should be judging anyone on what they choose to buy. Clearly you've never had a decent whiskey before otherwise you'd know it's about quality and not quantity.
more4me 27
Maybe it was a gift? Or an investment ? BTW, good whisky costs much more than $20 .
paintbullits 13
Why though would anyone want whisky and monster? If you want to drink shit like that just so you don't taste the alcohol get cheep vodka.
kiaora_fml 11
Make her pay for it, if she doesn't I would take her to small claims.
jamiejones455 3
wow. I'd say she'd best get a job.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
If stealing seems like the best option because she's not old enough to buy it AND she's drinking to get cross-eyed, then she isn't mature enough to be drinking... or have a boyfriend
kazekai8 11
Seriously? I only got one glass from my boss and I already want more. Why mix ut with monster for christ sake such a waste of good whiskey.
Dedski 11
The alcoholic in me just died a little. I'm so sorry for your loss, OP.
corky1992 33
Probably shouldn't have had such an expensive bottle somewhere that she could easily access. I'd make her pay you back.
tallulahblu 0
I don't know where you're buying your Pappy from, but where I work we sell Pappy Van Winkle family reserve 23 year for $250. It was quite messed up for your niece to steal from you like that, but it sounds like you got money jacked when you first bought the bottle.
dml23 1
Where do you work??? Pappy is one of the toughest whiskey to get. I'll fly to you tomorrow to buy every bottle you have.