Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML
Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
Today, while sleeping off my hangover, my niece asked me to get her a drink. I gave her a beer, I didn't notice it until it was gone. She is only 6 years old. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Why is "daddy" giving an 11-year-old girl vodka? I think the underage drinking might be the least disgusting part of this story.
MidnaLink 35
Y’all should really be arrested. Providing alcohol to minors, what’s wrong with you?
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Comments (13)
MidnaLink 35
Y’all should really be arrested. Providing alcohol to minors, what’s wrong with you?
RichardPencil 32
You know the laws in Croatia?
MidnaLink 35
When my teenage cousins visited from overseas a few years ago, I remember once reading that it was sixteen in Cro. I’ve never been there myself, but maybe it was an older webpage. How there’s only a minimum purchase age is beyond me. Also, I am Croatian. My grandmother came from there, but it’s not as if she ever got to teach us their alcohol laws.
julfunky 29
The “legal drinking age” is 18. That’s just the technicality. They don’t really give a shit what age you are there.
RichardPencil 32
Why is "daddy" giving an 11-year-old girl vodka? I think the underage drinking might be the least disgusting part of this story.
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Always check with your relative or friend before you give their child(ren) a drag on a cigarette or a taste of an alcoholic drink in order to "teach them a lesson" about smoking or drinking, or before you spank them or set any kind of punishment for them for any reason.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Wow ... YDI for not holding onto the glass and giving her a super tiny sip. Next YDI is for letting her try in the first place. This is how people get addicted.
Sinshine 28
"She probably won't like it" isn't anywhere near a good reason to give alcohol to a minor.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Yeah, that area of the world has an extremely laissez-faire attitude about alcohol. Having partied with Croatians as a teenager, can confirm they were mad drinkers (ages 14-17). My Hungarian extended family encouraged me drinking palinka (just tiny shots) age 12-ish. Seems messed up. I personally have a healthy moderate relationship with alcohol as an adult and have never gotten wasted. Remember that alcohol has always been far more abundant than clean water in european civilizations (explaining why history itself is so wild) until Very recently.
Madison Gliosci 16
Oh my god social services needs to get involved
tounces7 28
Little known fact - if you are the parent/guardian of a child, you can legally give them alcohol so long as it is not to the level of being intoxicating. So, a glass of champagne at a wedding, for example.
JackFaire 27
Ah so you're one of those people that harbors the illusion that "taste buds change" as you get older. Yeah not true. You like what you like and don't like what you don't like. I used to think it was true because I liked and disliked spinach only to realize it was how it was made.