Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate gets up at 3:30am for work and wakes me up each time. I try not to complain about it, but whenever I come back to the apartment at midnight, she gets mad that I woke her up. I told her that she wakes me up in the morning, but apparently that’s different because she’s going to work. FML
Today, I started my new shift schedule. They run on the policy: "Early is on time, on time is late." My shift starts at 6 in the morning. It's now 11pm and my wife called me a selfish bastard for asking her to get off Whatnot so I can sleep. FML
Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML
Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML
Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Today, I'm working 12-hour overnight shifts for the next three days. My fiancee can't seem to grasp the concept of sleeping during the day, and keeps coming into the bedroom and telling me to stop being lazy. FML
Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML
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Top comments
sweetly1120 6
Take your roommate to the graveyard & bury her.
nelds 12
That's so rude of her, not everyone is on the same sleep schedule.
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Comments (150)
bmkc4 1
You need a new roommate
Glidah 12
Dear people, before bitching about OP's roommate, please try to think how YOU would feel if you could never have your friends over because of your roommate.
Spicemelon 5
You could have a friend over you would just have to keep it down. Or the roommate could maybe go out to another friends house.
TheVelocirabbit 10
Because my roommate needs sleep because she can't sleep during the night while she works? OP has to work nightshift, so she has to sleep during the day. She can't be some superhuman for her roommate. and not sleep at all just so she can have friends over.
Glidah 12
@spicemelon So you would have her pay her rent but not be able to use her room for anything but sleeping? @Velocirabbit If OP sleeps while her roommate goes to college/work and vice versa there shouldn't be a problem.
elletex 8
51, I've said it once on here, and I'll say it again. The roommate didn't have to move in with her to begin with.
TheVelocirabbit 10
51- She could have been on lunch break, only works morning shift and just got home, or only works afternoon shift and was just going to her job. If she was in college, then it was most likely lunch break, because what I've heard is that lunch can be up to 3 hours.
perdix 31
Graveyard shift at the hospital? That sounds pretty creepy. Do you free up the beds occupied by people who can't pay? Y'know, dirty deeds done dirt cheap ;)
mwmiller99 4
Damn the person who thumbed Down perdix
MedKits 9
I actually pull a bed sheet over my head and do my rounds in the pediatric ward like that.
kazell09 1
Never mind...
sapphielily 12
Does your roommate not understand the concept of "quiet" or "respect". You can be reasonably quiet and still not wake someone up with guests over unless your roommate is more of a party person. And whether OP chose the shift or not, as a roommate you need to be respectful of everyone else in the household since one day you may have to work late shifts etc.
Glidah 12
It doesn't have to be that the roommate is a party person. Some people just sleep very lightly but are unwilling to take any kind of measures. The person living one floor below me sometimes complains that she can't sleep because of all the footsteps coming from upstairs though I always walk on my bare feet indoors.
mightymart 5
And she calls YOU selfish
newbiehere99 6
Tell your roommate to invite people over still then bitch at her that you're trying to sleep :)
Tempest559 12
That's why I live with my dog, she never complains.
fmessiah 19
If you're at the hospital my daughter had an operation on Tuesday, I salute you and all of the other staff there, thankyou.
me234 7
Try getting a new roommate that works the same hours.
lilicoco_fml 5
It's people like you who are there when my kidneys start to give away. (always during the middle of the night) Thank you for sacrificing your time to save people's lives. I would like to punch your roommate in her selfish face.