ok then

Being ambidextrous like me, I prefer wanking with two.

Wow never thought of that before. Guess I have to introduce leftie to my penis

Unless your are one of 10% of the population that are lefties. Then it would be normal. Op, your dad is cheap!! Periods don't smell like roses. Your not going not use deodorant because it is too pricy. Who wants to smell like a walking trash can come on now!!

15- In revenge for partially ruining my joke I must point out that not only did you use the wrong you're/your for your context in your first paragraph, but you also added an "are" after it making it completely redundant to have ever needed to use you're/your.

15 what? Am I missing what you're seeing?

24- Is this a motherfuckin grammar test? This is the ******* internet, who the hell cares? English isn't everyones first language, so calm "you're" **** down.

28- Calm down, read my profile, third paragraph. Don't get a big dick over it.

Am I the only one who just now realized there are scented tampons?!?

Yay :D Or skip what I said and listen to Alan. He's got a yellow-ish hue to his comments and are far more legit than that of yours truly.

Alan, I'm a *****. Haha. (:

31- Well in that case, you guys should really moderate all the comments being written down on this site. I have been seeing an epidemic of books dying lately.

#40: I just felt a part of my transplanted soul die.

#40: A part of my transplanted soul died while reading your comment.

@31 - I guess I shouldn't be posting on your site then? Because while on here (and other nonsensical sites) I could honestly care less about my spelling/grammar especially while on my phone. I just try to get my point across while maintaining some level legibility. Not trying to be defiant or anything... il tri 2 b moar btr tho bc i dun want bookz 2 dye =C!

Surely you mean you COULDN'T care less, sxe_beast. I know you're better than that.

:D @39 There goes another person spewing random stuff after my epic arguments lyric-ed themselves onto this fresh, white composition booklet and shunned them to the depths of negatively thumbed comment hell. Well... Maybe it was just Alan, but whatever.

40- So did you wring out every ounce of liquid from your brain with that sentence? =) Hope you know I'm not taking any of this seriously, it's just people are too uptight sometimes.

13 - I use me left hand and I am right handed in everything. I use the mouse with my right hand so ranking needs to be left for me.

SoTY I'd like to point out the lack of German spelling, grammar and punctuation. I will need you to rewrite everything you've ever posted.

******* 53 with the combo argument breaker. I hate you 53.

49- Well, the jokes on you. Because in my point of view, I don't believe in such things. And if you are not on this "thumbs down hell" you've self righteously proclaimed, then more power to you.

nope. I'm a woman and have never heard of such things til now... and quite frankly they sound like a horrible idea!

59: chill your ******* balls out, I bet you're that one guy who always has to turn standup comedy acts into some kind of funeral, aren't ya?

I used my left eye to read these comments.

enonymous- Nein! 59- I mentioned thumbed down hell in reference to none of your comments so far are in the positive. On the other hand, I am GENERALLY positively thumbed. It's not me being full of myself. It is a fact. Whatever, I wasn't really wanting to argue about that. My real goal was to fulfill my profile and get back at someone, who slightly pissed me off, by pointing out a blatant and, in my opinion, large grammatical error. Let us go and laugh at your rather funny profile picture and screw off flooding my thread with random shiznit. Aight?

What if I'm left handed...?

24, you know I didn't notice that. I'm not sure how that happened, please accept my apology for using awful grammar. Before I crawl back in my corner for being a ******* idiot, I would like to say it only came to mind because I am a lefty. Okay apology over.. (lowers head and walks back over to my corner of the room) carry on.

Ditto!

114- There are no sad, dark corners here on FML. We is all be friends here. *overly happy tune starts playing*

I agree. I feel like scented tampons could cause infection. Correct me if I'm wrong. :s

Ur looking nice

Wow you really like "hearing" yourself "talk" on these FMLs, don't you? Give it up. You are not as witty as you think.

I'm left handed, yet I wank w/ my right...I'm puzzled by this occurrence. I can't figure out why I keep my dominant left hand in reserve...Perhaps to guarantee a strong, superior finish? Maybe to compensate for the disparity between my sub hand vs. my dom hand? Pardon me....I must research...

You can be a lefty and still wank with your right hand.

You can wank with your feet, I'm just recurring to the majority. Apologies to the minority.

scented tampons arnt good for you're ******. you should never use anything scented down there bc it irritates it..

Wow.. Did I just see two moderators interact?? My brain exploded about three seconds ago, I will now proceed to die.

Wtf did I just read... first the fml then #1

Lol who the **** taught you that hog wash!?

Um we aren't like dogs we bleed every month and may only spot when were pregnant. Their is birth control pills that can reduce your period over time though but am a bit skeptical about how healthy that really is. Oh and if we have a infection it's not healthy to not take the antibiotics. Best to just not have sex till off the antibiotics and the birth control is working again. Still not sure what that has to do with this fml besides the period part.

Summary of the above: Girls get periods. You're welcome.

If you take a birth control pill very day and skip the sugar pill you won't have a period. It's commonly known that antibiotics make birth control pill ineffective so if you get sick use a condom to make sure you don't get pregnant. This is what they are trying to say. No period and no pregnancy is a win win.

71- you don't need any to be healthy that is why doctors can give women meds to stop having periods. The only reason you have a period is to prepare your body for a pregnancy so unless you are trying its not needed and can be stopped.

I get the depo shot and haven't had a period in several years, and I'm fine. If it wasn't healthy they wouldn't be giving a shot like that to woman

Okay we get periods because our body is preparing it's self to get pregnant. You should probably google the cycle. And by what my gynecologist tells me is that we really are only supposed to get our periods about 4 times a year. Sorry if I said something that wasn't correct

Your gynocologist doesn't know that. It's just like all the gynocoligists who used to tell their patients to get on hormone replacement therapy after menopause. Now they know it causes breast cancer. One day we'll find out depo causes uterine cancer ... When enough of you get it.

101 I get that shot because my cramps were very painful, and I have chronic abdominal pain anyways, so the cramps were the pain I could have taken away! I'm not getting it just because I don't want periods!

82- you're an idiot. Girls have periods to prepare for a baby. The blood and everything else that comes out is stuff so an egg can plant itself on the uterine wall and grow. When the egg isn't fertalized, all the blood and tissue and other stuff sheds out and then the body starts building up the uterine wall again.

if u get sick who the hell would have sex with u

What kind of question is that? Periods are not to be spoken of between a dad and his daughter? Because his/her mother: - did not have time to go shopping and get tampons (for herself or the daughter in the family) - is ill - is deceased and OP is being brought up by his/her father now.

Or your just stupid enough to believe what the pharmaceutical company told your doctor to believe...or what he/she was paid to promote

This comment was directed to "The Story of the Year"

#128 was to be posted under #49 not here. My bad.

Thanks

126 are you talking to me? I'm not stupid, I'd be in a hell of a lot more pain than I am now if I was still having my period! So I think for me, the shot is a good thing

I just worry about what docs tell their patients. I know a lot about "those" drugs that docs throw at their hurting patients, but what they may not tell you is the long term damage the drugs do to your reproductive system. There are other ways to deal with it, trust me I understand your pain. Always fully educate yourself on what's going into your body please :)

148, I do, I've been having health issues for 14 years, and I am careful, thanks for your concern! That's very sweet!

Summary of EVERYTHING above: Only let someone with a degree near you vageen.

I started having my problems when i was 13...that's ...oh crap! 20 years now. Lame. I hate when others suffer with pain and such. Good luck!

hah that's the dumbest shit I ever heard 4xs a year? stupid

Actually, periods do both. Periods do tell us we're not pregnant but they also tell us we're fertile. One of the reasons a woman's hips get wider as she grows sis because of her uterus and ******. For example, a young teen's cervix will not be as wide as a woman already done with puberty, even if the woman is a virgin.

I completely agree with you. And plus, personally, even though I have my mom my dad buys pads and tampons for me a lot because I'm just really close with him and most of the time my mom is tired or busy and my dads out anyways

Don't buy the scented ones anyway, they could give you a yeast infection.

^^^ Then you can't raise any dough. In more ways than one. Can I laugh at my own lame joke, or no?

No, he's right. Tampons and pads are way over priced. There should be a tax break for it.

#102 It's all about extortion: if a lot of people need it and it's imperative that they use it then companies can charge whatever they want for them, kinda like bras. Bras are required in basically all school/work dress codes so companies that make them can charge hefty prices for them.

Obviously, they are tampons for either OP or another female in OP'sfamily..

6- For partially ruining my joke I will point out that not only did you use the wrong you're/your, you also added "are" after it making it redundant and grammatically incorrect to have needed to use you're/your in the first place.

He likes the smell of scented tampons

Because most parents supply their daughter with all the things to stay clean and sanitary. It's like buying soap and deodorant it's something you need so they buy it.

my dad often buys my tampons. if I'm away on a trip with him and didn't bring any I kinda have to get him to buy them for me.

Why can't you buy them?

And not only that, I doubt during that time of the month anyone is going to be close enough there to appreciate it

Scented ones are bad for your vajayjay anyway.

Is it his time of the month?

Wrong he cares about the price

I actually prefer the non brand tampons.