Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate gets up at 3:30am for work and wakes me up each time. I try not to complain about it, but whenever I come back to the apartment at midnight, she gets mad that I woke her up. I told her that she wakes me up in the morning, but apparently that’s different because she’s going to work. FML
Today, I started my new shift schedule. They run on the policy: "Early is on time, on time is late." My shift starts at 6 in the morning. It's now 11pm and my wife called me a selfish bastard for asking her to get off Whatnot so I can sleep. FML
Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML
Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML
Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Today, I'm working 12-hour overnight shifts for the next three days. My fiancee can't seem to grasp the concept of sleeping during the day, and keeps coming into the bedroom and telling me to stop being lazy. FML
Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sweetly1120 6
Take your roommate to the graveyard & bury her.
nelds 12
That's so rude of her, not everyone is on the same sleep schedule.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (150)
xgetxbentx 13
I don't see how this keeps her from inviting people over.... It's not like she needs to have a wild party before you go to work, which is probably around the time most parties start. I would assume you keep earplugs on hand, so why can't she just come in and say "hey, I'm having a friend over, just wanted you to know so you could put ear plugs in." As long as they aren't being loud as **** and you wear ear plugs there shouldn't be a problem.
chacha2726 0
Tell her when she stops b****ing and shut her face you'll get up. #3 is a fantastic idea
merrielp 13
Kick her out
theonlysweetpea 10
You should have punched her in the face with your alarm clock. There's no excuse for her not to have friends over when you're asleep unless she's extraordinaryly loud, in which case you'd be pissed anyway. She's stupid
itstreeee 2
Been there! Hell, I'm in it now
Jasonf6 0
She is a ****** idiot
noisebox 1
Get a new room mate el pronto is my advice
kazell09 1
Ive been reading some of these comments and some of you guys don't know what the graveyard shift is. So I'll school you, (11pm) 2300-(7am) 0700 is 3rd shift is the graveyard shift. The reason it's called that is because it's theres barely nothing going on during almost the entire shift. Therefore it's "deadest" (i know thats not a word) shift of all shifts.
Kinder93_fml 3
Also because people used to have to patrol graveyards at night, to stop people grave-robbing, and it was called the "graveyard" shift, that's one of the places it originated from. :)
fj19 9
I know how you feel. Bitch just don't know.
Ceejay1 13
Time to get your own spot or get a roomate who better understands the working life .