Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate gets up at 3:30am for work and wakes me up each time. I try not to complain about it, but whenever I come back to the apartment at midnight, she gets mad that I woke her up. I told her that she wakes me up in the morning, but apparently that’s different because she’s going to work. FML
Today, I started my new shift schedule. They run on the policy: "Early is on time, on time is late." My shift starts at 6 in the morning. It's now 11pm and my wife called me a selfish bastard for asking her to get off Whatnot so I can sleep. FML
Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML
Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML
Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Today, I'm working 12-hour overnight shifts for the next three days. My fiancee can't seem to grasp the concept of sleeping during the day, and keeps coming into the bedroom and telling me to stop being lazy. FML
Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sweetly1120 6
Take your roommate to the graveyard & bury her.
nelds 12
That's so rude of her, not everyone is on the same sleep schedule.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (150)
tehdarkness 21
Still though that would be frustrating to not be able to have friends over if you're demanding quiet. Do you have earplugs? They saved me form killing my roomie!
MasqueradePrince 25
You don't need absolute silence to sleep, my guess is that the new roommate has friends that can only scream out replies.
mariet_fml 23
Earplugs that would block out the chatter would probably make it much harder to hear an alarm clock.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
"Okay. Find a new roommate---hopefully one with 'selfless' sleeping habits."
bvxf 2
Ponys are gay
Glidah 12
Why is everyone taking the side of the roommate? If she has a graveyard shift, it might not be very wise to have a roommate in the first place. If someone get's far of the day/night rhythm (0AM - 8AM) I say let them buy earplugs.
elletex 8
OP specified that this was a new roommate. It is to be assumed that she kept no secrets regarding her job before her roommate agreed to live with her. If the roommate had a problem with this, then they shouldn't have moved in with OP in the first place.
TheVelocirabbit 10
Wake her up in the middle of the night and start yelling the same things at her. Also, tell her she needs to understand that not everything can work out just for her.
twisted_cherub 14
My thoughts exactly. I work nights and people are always wondering why I don't want to get up in the middle of the day to do stuff. So I started calling them at 2am to do things with me. No one ever wants to keep my hours, which makes my nights off kind of boring.
thundergirl_fml 2
I've run into the same problem working nights. Somehow people don't understand that just because they've slept all night doesn't mean the rest of us have.
xgetxbentx 13
Except op would be at work in the middle of the night.....
TheVelocirabbit 10
Well, whenever she gets a break.
Dcm210 19
get a new roomate.
PrayforMojo911 2
Did you tell her this?
angelinaanimerg 7
Thats why you move out of your parents house! So u dont have to justify to anyone how late u sleep in. Tell them to shut up!
TheVelocirabbit 10
Did you even read the FML?
rcgirl2 11
Maybe you should switch roomates.
OfficeNinja 5
So wake her up at 5 AM every morning when you get home, bitching that because of her lazy ass you can't ever have anyone over for dinner. Which you eat after work. Lunch is at 11 pm.
AcieMcG 21
People are missing the point of this FML, OP works the graveyard shift so she would be at work, not hindering her bitchy roommate to have people over.
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
No she wouldn't. During normal "let's have people over" hours (about mid morning to mid evening), OP would be at home asleep or something since she works very late at night.
Glidah 12
And it wouldn't be possible for OP to sleep in the evening?
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
It might be, or she'd fall asleep as soon as she got home in the morning, sleep through the afternoon, and get up in the evening before work.
MedKits 9
Work 8 hours after being up for a while with minimal sleep, come home at 8am and see if you can wait to sleep in the evening.